How I Fell In Love With Shino Aburame
by SincerelyDonnaB
Summary: I'd do ANYTHING to bring them back to me… To go back to THAT day and change it all... But...I would have never met HIM... It's funny...how the worst things in life always bring us the greatest blessings. Believe it or not, to me, Shino Aburame was a blessing in the oddest and simplest of ways. (SHINOxOC)
1. Beginnings of Endings

AUTHOR'S NOTE: **UPDATED (4-6-2014)**

Hey guys! DXE here! So here's the first real chapter of "How I Fell In Love With Shino Aburame" Hope you like it!

Do I even need to bother with a disclaimer?

…Eh, too lazy to care.

NOTE:

\- The bolded italics are like diary entries, those will probably just be at the beginnings or endings of a chapter. They're used mostly to set the mood and keep the romance aspect of the story while more violent chapters are being told. These will be signed by "K.M." (Kira Minami)

\- Flashbacks will be plain italics and I'll try to place some extra space or something at the beginnings and endings. Maybe even be blunt and say FLASHBACK. I don't think I'll be using flashbacks very much, though, because this IS a narrative story and there isn't much point in doing a flashback when I could just narrate it in. But, who knows, I might need to use it?

\- Everything else will be in normal font.

I hope you enjoy! Feel free to make any comments, good or bad. You can leave your comments in a review or you can PM me, I don't care. It's up to you. I'm not trying to be bossy and say you have to review or message me, but like all the other writers on this site, I do enjoy hearing how my readers feel about the story. Your comments help me make the story better and help me mold it right… And comments might also make me update quicker *hint hint*.

Enjoy! If not, tell me!

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_**My mom always used to tell me stories about princesses who would fall in love with noble ninja and ordinary civilian girls that would always catch the eye of attractive lords and princes… And like every other little girl, I loved them and dreamed them and hoped and prayed that I would be like the girls in the stories…**_

_**But that never happened.**_

_**And just like every little girl I had to face reality at some point in time. I had to realize that love wasn't a fairy tale and it certainly wasn't a dream.**_

_**Love is a bond. A trust. **_

_**A battle.**_

_**Love isn't a guy who knows how to make you laugh, or a sweet talker that knows how to make you swoon. And love certainly isn't a charming smile and smooth touch to set your cheeks on fire.**_

_**Love is companionship with no limitations or excuses. Love is black and white. You're either in it 100% or you're not. **_

_**Love is fickle like that, I guess.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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"Come on, Kira! We have to go!"

The world crashed back down on me as my brother's annoying voice penetrated my daydreams. I chose to ignore him and continued to dream behind my eyelids, drawing up imaginary scenarios that I could twist and bend to my will. The cool grass was soft against my back and sent a gentle rise across my skin. The sun was hot against my face but the wind breezed across me like-

"Did you hear me? I said we have to go!" The voice was thunderously close to my ear this time and I refrained myself from punching him in the head.

I let out a stiff sigh. "Yes, I heard you. Now, get out of my face." I waved him away, not even bothering to open my eyes. I knew it would only piss him off even more, much to my satisfaction.

"Don't act like you're all high and mighty! Mom said we have to go to town to pick up some stuff from Hinji's store." I didn't even have to open my eyes to know that he probably had his fists on his hips. He was probably glaring at me with those annoying sharp green eyes of his, a trait I blamed entirely on our mother.

I groaned and finally sat up, leering at him, "What are you too much of a wimp to go by yourself? Need your big sister to babysit you?"

That one caught him off guard and his jaw dropped momentarily before he snapped it back up, clacking his teeth together. "Wha?! Listen here you little…" He caught himself before lashing out a blue streak. "Whatever, the point is mom wants BOTH OF US to go to the store. You know how she is… She's getting more and more grouchy lately, she'd do anything to get us out of her hair."

Letting out a snort, I shot back. "Yeah, I'm surprised she hasn't hacked us off by now." We both laughed at that one. Kinta grinned at me before starting to walk off, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders hunched.

I smirked at the back of his grey shirt before jogging to catch up, "BUT she kinda has the right to be grumpy."

"Yeah, considering that the baby's almost here… Her hormones are a tidbit crazy." He laced his fingers behind his head and we walked around to the front of the house, where Mama sat, holding her precious belly with worn and gentle hands.

I leaned close and whispered in his ear. "A tidbit? I'm waiting for a second head to sprout from her neck and start breathing fire."

Kinta started cracking up at the image, belting out a whirlwind of snorts and giggles. Mama heard and her head snapped in our direction. Her sharp green eyes cut toward us before softening like spring leaves. "What are you two prattling on about?"

We glanced at each other, a wry grin making its way to the surface, "_Nothing_…"

A thin brown eyebrow arched up in suspicion. "Nothing, my ass. And didn't I tell you to go to town for me? TWO HOURS AGO?" She braced herself against her knee and wobbled to stand. Her emerald orbs turned sharp again and she crossed her arms on top her swelling belly. "Well? Don't just look at me, go, or I'll let you starve tonight."

She stuffed a list in my hand. I clutched it and stuck my tongue out at her while Kinta grabbed me by the arm and hauled me away. In a fit of giggles and I-told-you-so's we raced down our old dirt road, leaving Mama's curses and threats behind.

"Tell Hinji to put it on our tab!" Her voice echoed off the trees and bounced at us.

I spun on my bare heel and cupped my hands around my mouth. "Okay! Don't let the baby come out yet! I wanna be there when it happens!"

She only laughed that tinkling laugh of hers. "I'll try my best, but I'm not making any promises! BE CAREFUL!"

"Come on, stupid, I want to play marbles with Yoshi." He walked on without me, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders slumped.

"Oh really? So that's why you want to go to town so bad." I jogged to catch back up and elbowed him in the ribs. "You know, I always used to wonder how you lost all your marbles, but I guess now I realized that you just lost them all to Yoshi."

I laughed at my own joke, but Kinta just cussed a blue streak at me, socking me on the arm in the process. "Shut up, you lousy bitch! I haven't lost shit to Yoshi!" He grunted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh? So then, tell me what happened to that set of Reds that Papa got you from the Leaf? Huh?" My question was answered with a grumbling silence. "I thought so." We walked in silence the rest of the way there, our minds wandering in opposite directions. My mind was with the clouds, while my brother's was planted firmly in the ground as his eyes darted to every tree and rock, every rut carved into the road by wooden carts.

Only when the voices of the townspeople and sound of hooves on dirt begin, did my eyes ever drift from the sky. That town, filled with such simple people with simple lives… fascinated me. It wasn't really anything special, just a little blob of tan buildings and thatch houses in the middle of a world of green... It wasn't anything fancy, our roads were dirt, NOT pavement or gravel, and our gates were simply thin tree limbs coiled together... Simple, but in the best kind of way.

"Hey, Kira!" As my bare feet walked through the thin, wooden gate, that voice crossed my ears.

My eyes flashed toward a familiar bob of red hair. Mai Kuso. Best friend and secret keeper...

I resisted a smirk and raised a hand in a simple hello. "Hey." She stopped by my side.

"What are you guys doing in town? Shouldn't you be looking after Ren-san?" Her plain blue yukata was baggy on her as she braced her knuckles on her bony hips. It was probably one of her older sister's that got passed down to her. The downfall of being a younger sibling, I guess.

"Nah," Kinta scratched at his messy brown mop. "She keeps sending us on "errands". It's ridiculous, this is the fourth time we've had to come to town this week, all because she wants to be alone."

Mai laughed, like the sweet little girls in the movies, all giggle and girlish. "Can you blame her?" I joined in on her laughter 'til we were both red in the face and clutching our stomachs. Kinta blushed at her teasing and marched off, cursing and clenching his fists all the way.

"Come on, Ma gave me a list. Kinta's probably gone off to play marbles or something, so we can go to Hinji's to get the groceries and maybe we can con him into giving us some candies." Her honey-brown eyes lit up like fireworks.

"Yeah, maybe." We locked hands and went on our way, down the crowded streets filled with the hustle and bustle of life.

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"Hey, hon. Whatcha doin' back here today? Was that bag a rice bad again? I told that good fer nottin' ass to stop tryin' to mix the bad rice with good n's… I swear I'm gonna wallop 'im if he keeps it up." Hinji's wife was a scary woman. With her splotchy red face and wide hips, she reminded me of a cursing, human tomato more than anything. I swear to this day I've never met another human being cuss and yell nearly as much as she did.

"No, Ma wanted us to come and pick her up a few more things." I stood on my tippytoes to reach over the counter to hand her Mama's list.

She glanced over it with her beady, slanted, black eyes. "More rice?" She clucked her tongue, "Dear lord, surely you three ain't ate nearly that much rice, but who am I t'complain?" She stuffed the list in her breast pocket and bustled into the back room. "You got any word back from yer daddy?"

I pressed my nose against the show glass and peered in to stare at Mrs. Hinji's newest fabrics. Every month the storekeeper's wife would send for fine silks and soft, vibrant cottons to sell for sewing. "Yeah, he's been sending us money for Mama to pay the bills. He took a picture of the Hokage Mountain in Kohona. Mama's got it framed up in the living room… Have you ever seen it?"

"Nah, never felt the need to go to such ritzy place like that. How's yer daddy? Did he say?" All that could be seen of the woman was her gi-enormous rump poked out of the doorway while she hunted through shelves and crates for what we needed. The storeroom was precautionary, or at least that's what Mama said. With the war getting nearer and nearer, the raids were getting closer and closer to our little village. The village leader made it an order for every citizen to take extra precautions over everything; food, valuables, clothes, livestock, and especially life itself. Storerooms were expected to have locks and hidden compartments. Households were expected to have designated hiding spots somewhere on or off the property. Livestock was expected to be put away and locked inside shacks or barns after 7pm every night...

My Papa was away at that time… preparing for some ruthless war up north. None of us wanted him to go, but it was required by all five Kages that every shinobi be sent into battle. Our town was small, the only soldiers we had were my Papa and a few other men that moved here to retire from other, bigger, villages. My Papa used to be a soldier for Kohona…but when he met my Mama he gave up all the fighting to raise a family, to raise us…

"He's okay, he says he's nervous about the war. He's worried that he won't be strong enough to help." I huffed. "It's not fair…" I laid my chin on the cool glass and pouted. No, it wasn't fair at all…

"I know, hon, but he's doing a good thing fer his country and fer you. Cause he's up there in that war, he's doin what he can to protect you and Kinta and yer Ma. He's doin his best to keep that war away from yer bunch and all of us." Her hard eyes softened like little coals and she handed me a small box. "You should be proud that he's willing to fight for you."

I felt a small smile wriggle its way to my lips. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll see you around. Tell Hinji I'm sorry that I missed him."

She shooed me off with her hand. "Don't you worry 'bout that. I'll tell him how yer daddy's doin. Knowin' those two, yer daddy's probably already sent a letter to him. There are days I honestly think that rat bastard loves yer poor Pa more than he does me."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one and teased, "Nonsense, how could he not love someone as kind and compassionate as you?"

She belted out a deep, boob-shaking laugh. "Oh, I see how it is now. Rotten brat… I'll put those on yer tab, alright?"

I grinned at her, box under arm, and waved as I went out the door. "Thanks!"

The doorbell rung and she hollered after me. "Tell yer Mama if she needs help with tha baby to tell me."

"'Kay! See you later!"

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_**It's such a shame that that's the last normal memory I have, of walking out of that store…Part of me wishes I could go back and change that day but there's another part of me that's grateful for it. I wouldn't be here, telling you this story, if that day hadn't of happened. **_

_**…I guess I just wish that I could have enjoyed that last moment a little more. I wish I could have remembered their smiles a little more and remembered their laughs better…I wish I could have been more prepared for what was to come…**_

_**I know better now... I know better than to take moments like that for granted. **_

_**The only question I really have now is: Was it worth it? **_

_**Was the loss worth the lesson?**_

_**...**_

_**The only thing I know for sure is that...**_

_**...**_

_**THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE LIKE THAT.  
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_**-K.M.**_

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God, have mercy, I'm getting teary eyed… I wanted to write more onto the chapter but I needed to update and I knew if I continued this chapter the way it was supposed to go it would end up being like 10,000 words.

Aint nobody got time for that.

Especially me. It would've taken me weeks upon weeks to get all that done and edited so I found this nice spot to stop at.

Tell me what you think! And if you find any grammar mistakes, I'm sorry. I tried my best to get them all, but everybody makes mistakes. Also, if you find any passages that sound weird or read awkward, tell me and I'll fix 'em.

I hope you enjoyed! If you didn't, please, tell me.

-DXE

ALSO, I've been thinking about maybe trying to get a beta reader? Is that a good idea or a bad one?


	2. Losing

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello, small fan base! Sorry for the long wait but I DO have a life outside of fan fiction (just a little). But I'm glad to present this new chapter for you. I hope you like it, if not, well…you know the drill. Even if you're going to flame, flame away. Your opinion matters to me, no matter how cruel or heartbreaking.

I'm still not totally confident with this chapter. I still feel that something is either missing or off, so if you find anything PLEASE tell me so I can fix it.

DISCLAIMER: Obviously this is FAN fiction, so naturally I don't own anything besides my original characters. If you so technical as to wanting a better understanding what I mean by original characters, just pick out all the ones that you've never heard of in the show and guess what? They're mine.

WARNING: This chapter is REALLY graphic, so if you can't handle gory things don't read it. Also, if you don't take graphic death scenes very well, please avoid the ending of the chapter. Don't worry, skipping this one won't completely throw you off, the next chapter should give you a basic idea of what happened.

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_**My mother once told me that all problems we face in life are just tests; tests of our strength, our loyalty, or love.**_

_**Our sacrifice.**_

_**She never told me who was testing us, then again maybe everything was testing us from the bill collectors to our nosy neighbors. **_

_**Maybe the world was testing us. Maybe it was trying to see whether we deserved to live in it or not.**_

_**Then again, maybe the world was just being cruel, sadistic bastard.**_

_**Maybe the world wanted revenge on us lousy humans who keep ripping it apart?**_

**_I don't think I'll ever really know, but I DO know that I hate tests. I can never seem to quite pass them, I'm always passing and failing at the same time..._**

**_Is that possible though? To win AND lose all at once?  
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**_It has to be..._**

**_It keeps happening._**

_**-K.M.**_

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Someone a few blocks away screamed, sharp and shrill, but I paid no mind and neither did Mai. People whooped and hollered all the time so there wasn't much point in making a fuss over it. We just continued chattering and giggling down the muddy street, heading toward the poorer edge of town where Kinta was surely at, popping marbles around with Yoshi and his midget gang.

"I can't believe Ren-san is going to have a baby… This is so exciting!" She squealed a little and wriggled her scrawny rump in delight. I bit back a laugh and shook my head at my friend's ridiculous actions. I laced my fingers together behind my back and nudged my friend, letting her nudge me back playfully.

"It's not like it's her first baby. What I can't believe is that Papa's going to miss it." I kicked up a nearby rock a little too hard and sent it soaring down the street. It lodged itself into a pocket of mud and disappeared into its depths with a pop… Papa wasn't supposed to leave, he was **retired**…they shouldn't have forced him to fight if he had a family to take care of…

I **hated** the Hokage.

"Yeah, but I'm sure he'll be back in time." She forced a grin onto her lips and clasped her hands together over her chest. She didn't sound too sure to me, but it was a nice try.

I flashed her a smile anyway and slung my arm around her tiny neck. "I hope so… Naomi-chan is supposed to come in a week and stay. Since Papa's gone, Mama needs someone to help her deliver. I'm supposed to help, but Mama never wants me or Kinta around…" My little, fake smile drooped. "This stupid war better end soon... But he's lucky anyway, you know? HE doesn't have to deal with Mama and her ridiculous pregnancy symptoms." Allowing a wry grin to wiggle it's way onto my face, I added, "You know, she got me up at three in the morning the other night, JUST so I could go to the midnight market to get her damned ama-natto(1)?"

She giggled her girlish laugh at the thought of me trudging to the store in my night clothes. "My oba-chan came to spend a week with us once when she was pregnant." She let out a small groan at the memory, "She craved sushi a lot… She would always tell me that a woman's best feature was her ability to raise good children."

I snorted at such a ridiculous thing and rolled my eyes. "I thought pregnant women weren't supposed to eat sushi?" It continued on like that, with us bouncing our senseless prattle back and forth, dodging the mass of bodies and carts that rumbled past us… It was easy like that… Simple. I loved that simplicity with all my heart.

Another scream ripped the air and our heads snapped to attention this time. Other people jerked to attention and started moving much quicker, either away from the noise or toward it. There was something different about that scream, something WRONG.

My brother's face was the only one that flashed across my mind and with that thought, I was gone. My feet moved on their own and flung me down the street, ramming people out of my way without so much as a glance in recognition. My heart pounded to a foreign rhythm while I prayed to whatever gods could hear me, for it not to be him.

It couldn't be Kinta… it was too unlikely… but, in the deepest abyss of my soul, I **knew**.

"Kira, where are you going?" Mai yelled after me, struggling against the masses that ran in the opposite direction as me. I wanted to yell back to her, to tell her not to worry, but I couldn't find enough space in my brain to care. The only thing I could concentrate on was the wet smack of my bare feet against mud and my heart pounding in my throat. It wasn't going to be him, IT COULDN'T BE HIM.

The screams were getting louder and they multiplied with each passing second. People were running against me now, away from some unseen threat. I didn't care. I couldn't care. The only thing I could care about was making sure that my baby brother was okay. I skidded around a corner, feeling my heart plummet to the bottom of my stomach, and-

It was him.

…**It was him…**

And he wasn't alone. Hovered above him was a gnarly looking bald man with far too many scars and too little teeth. A few other raiders crowded around them, watching the show with a sick amusement. They spit chewing tobacco onto the street and grinned their browning teeth. The leader was cloaked in grey and he leered down at my brother, who glared back up with that arrogant grin of his. His little fists were balled up by his sides and his mouth was moving, fast. Everything was mute around me, but I knew Kinta was cussing, threatening, and-

In one swish of light on metal, the muddy street was stained red…And then, he was gone.

I couldn't breath.

My throat constricted and my gut suddenly felt like it were filled with cement…I couldn't breath.

I COULDN'T BREATH.

And the man looked at me, HE LOOKED AT ME.

My blood froze, I froze and I couldn't move even if I wanted to. His eyes locked onto me and kept me in my place, paralyzed me with their hate, with their love of death. Those black eyes… they pierced me and shattered me to pieces.

"Well, well… Look what we got here, boys!" His voice was too loud and it hurt my ears. He smirked and threw his head over his shoulder to grin at his crew, a bunch of other grungy men with hair thick with sweat and oil. Their faces were dark with dirt and their clothes were torn and stained. His beady eyes zoned back onto me. They were the darkest color before death… An emptiness laid within them and chilled me to the core.

I let my eyes flicker to Kinta's still form and I felt a breath get caught in my throat. Those once sharp, green eyes stared at me lifelessly, pleading for help even in death.

He was gone…and it was my fault.

The touch of a hand ripped my eyes from my fallen brother and onto a filthy arm, coated with brown splatter… Blood… Even though I refused to think it at that time, I knew it was probably Kinta's…

"What? Did 'ya know the brat? Was he yer little boyfriend?" He mocked and his rancid breath showered across my face, but I kept my eyes fixed on his sleeve, following the random pattern of brown on grey. His words made my stomach churn with a hate I had never felt before… It coiled tighter and tighter with each breath that passed over his lips. "Did 'ya let him fuck ya?" A sick laughter rolled off his lips as his breath tickled against my forehead.

The coil snapped inside of me and I clamped down on his forearm with my teeth. I could feel the taste of blood and sweat and skin mix into my mouth, but that only made me bite down harder until I felt fresh blood trickled down my throat. He hollered above me and I felt the sick smack of his hand across my cheek.

My body was flung to the side with the force and I was slammed into the mud. I spit out the blood and sweat and skin and scrambled to my feet. The nasty man's lips were twisted in a snarl as he held his bloody arm. His crew laughed at the scene before them, enjoying their comrade's pain.

People had long since left the area, in fear of the raiders. The only people left were the nasty men, my brother's corpse that now seemed so small and frail…, and me. The raiders all locked their eyes on me, some filled with amusement, others with annoyance, and a rare few with…pity. I never knew demons could feel empathy.

"Ya little bitch!" He growled and approached me with heavy, sloshing feet, and sheer hate. He wretched me up by the front of my shirt and pulled me close to his face.

Before he could snarl another word, I hocked and spat right in his eye. His hands flew to his face by instinct and the second my feet hit the mud, I bolted. Cold mud slid deeper and deeper between my toes with each pounding footstep. I could hear them take chase behind me, growling and hollering like wild animals.

A knot of panic started to crawl up my throat, but I didn't want to cry… I couldn't cry… Not now, not here, not over THEM. I had to get home. I had to warm Mama… Papa told me to take care of her.

He made me promise and I never broke my promises.

"Come 'ere!" A burly hand collided with the back of my neck and we went tumbling. I skidded face first into the clumpy dirt. My whole torso was caked in the dark muck, but I only scuttled back to my feet and kept running. It was all I could do… I couldn't protect Kinta. I couldn't protect the village, but I could run and I would run as far and as fast I could. I'd run to the ends of the earth if I had to… if it meant saving her.

I HAD TO PROTECT MAMA.

My legs were heavy with ache and with each pounding step I could feel my muscles protest. My burning lungs made my throat tighten against the lump lodged in my esophagus. Please, just a little further…

I spared a glance behind me and instantly regretted it. A huge mass tackled me into the ground. Primal instincts took over and I clawed and smacked and kicked with as much strength as I could muster in my panic. My nails scrapped against skin and cloth until two firm hands shoved mine to either side of my head.

"Kira, stop!" I froze at the voice and opened my eyes to meet two blue ones.

"Yoshi?" His eyes darkened before he jerked me up to feet and shoved me through a small alley between two buildings. I could feel the world seem to start shaking and I wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was him. I had never known Yoshi to be scared, but now I realize that it was me who was shaking, falling apart at my seams.

He weaved us through the small maze of alleys that connected the center of the town together. The rough wood and hardened mud scratched my arms and hands, but Yoshi only dragged me on. Only kids really used the spaces, since they were too small for anyone else. Since he was my brother's gang leader, he knew every pathway and hiding spot within a five mile radius. All the boys in the village looked up to him, praised him for his strange talent for stealing and pranking. He was the oldest of the group, almost my age, so it was natural for all the younger boys to admire him.

Personally, I thought he was an idiot…but at that moment, in that second… he was my hero.

"Where's Kinta?" He eyed me over his should and I could hear a genuine worry in the misfit's voice. The sound of it made my heart wither into a pile of black dust. Kinta was like a little brother to Yoshi… They went everywhere together, did everything together. They were partners in crime… Yoshi was closer to Kinta than I ever would be.

Could've been.

"I don't know. I couldn't find him." The lie came out far too easily and I wanted to kick myself for it, but I felt that it had to be done. I didn't want to have this conversation, NOT with him, so I ripped my arm from his grasp before we could make our escape into the woods that wrapped around our dying town. "We can't keep running around, they'll find us."

He was curt and narrowed his sapphire orbs at me, "I know, I'm not stupid, that's why we're going to the safe house." I felt like arguing with him, to do something to release this tension that welled up inside my gut, but I found myself without the spirit.

"I have to go find Mama," I avoided his eyes with all my power, worried that he would see the fear in them. I wasn't supposed to be afraid, it wasn't in my nature. "and I need you to do me a favor, okay?"

I heard him mumble under his breath, "Damn it…" before adding a quick, "Depends on what it is."

"I need you to find Mai for me. I lost her and…" I couldn't even communicate how absolutely guilty I felt for leaving her behind… If I'd known… "Please?"

"What's in it for me?"

The nerve of him! I restrained myself from turning around and screaming at his selfishness, but it would do no good. I chose, instead, to smack him square on the cheek. He was appalled and fought back the urge to hit me back. I glared into his sapphire orbs with all the determination and meanness that I could muster. "Find Mai, if you don't I'll hunt you down and kill you myself."

I didn't know if I could trust Yoshi, but at that moment he was all I had. I would never admit it aloud, but Mama meant so much more to me that Mai did. Shaking off such wretchedly true thoughts, I raced down the street, blazing past limp bodies and doing everything in my power to ignore the splatter of blood that oozed from them and dripped down the walls. I had to get to Mama…before they did.

Houses and buildings that I grew up with were suddenly strangers as I passed. The town I had called home was now my worst nightmare. In that heated panic and flight, I had the revelation that the more you care about something, the more it could hurt you. I was half-way tempted just to keep running and leave EVERYTHING behind, even Mama.

But I couldn't.

I wasn't that brave.

I clambered up our old dirt road, suddenly hating the cart-made ruts that lined it and the way each groove tripped me up and twisted my footing. _Just let them be okay_, was the only thing I could think as I changed through the door of our ratty home.

"Mama?" I called and raced through the sitting room and through our rooms, checking everywhere I came to until-

"Kira?" Her voice was twisted and tired and I bolted into the kitchen. Mama was lying on the floor, drenched in sweat. One hand propped her up while the other rested on her bulging stomach. Her face twisted up in agony and she let out a pained whimper. "Go get Naomi," she forced out through labored breaths, "and tell her that the baby is coming."

"No, no, no!" I chanted the word over and over as if it would stop everything and just freeze time, just long enough for me to have a mental breakdown. "Not now, Mama! We have to get you out of here!" I dropped down onto my knees and grabbed her arms. She fought against my grip when I tried to pull her up and started to protest and snap out another order, but I let out a choked, "Raiders!", and she shut up instantly.

It took all of my strength to help her to a stand and we wobbled through the back door. We didn't bother getting anything, because the most important thing in that moment was tied between finding a place to hide and birthing that damned baby. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get her to the safe house in time.

"Kira," Mama moaned out in pain and with that sound I knew she couldn't go any further. The baby WAS COMING whether we wanted it to or not.

"Don't worry, Mama, just stay right here. I'll be right back." I dashed back inside and grabbed a blanket off my bed. Headed toward the kitchen, I started to get a bucket of water, but a racket down the road grabbed my attention instead. I wretched the small kitchen window open and saw the burly silhouettes edging closer and closer. Shouts and screams and curses punctured the air and fear froze me.

Raiders.

I left everything as it was and ran back outside. I found Mama with her face purpling in pain and panic. She dug her nails into the stair-rail so hard that her knuckles were turning white. I had never seen Mama look so weak and vulnerable as she sobbed my name and shook her head. "I can't, Kira, I can't, I can't…" She kept chanting it over and over, like a prayer.

I shushed her and whispered the best words of comfort I could muster in the chaos. "They're coming, you have to do this. For the baby."

She shook her head at me, but I ignored her weak protests and pulled her down onto the grass. I shoved the wooden panel that covered the house's crawlspace out of my way and tugged Mama in behind me. Moving as quickly and as quietly as I could, I placed it back in place and sealed us in darkness.

Mama gripped me and I held her tight. Her sobs and sniffles were thunderous in the silence and I held her face against my chest, muffling her the best I could. Her hand gripped mine and every few seconds her fingers would squeeze mine so hard that I had to clamp my jaws shut so I couldn't make a sound. I rubbed her arm softly, my only way of conveying just how sorry I was.

Slams of footsteps began to pound through the house above us and through a small crack in the floorboards, I could see the outlines of large forms bumbling through our things.

"Only take what we can sell or use, leave the rest of the trash 'ere!" The voice was so familiar that it burned my gut. The raider… "If ya find anyone hiding, kill the men, take the women. Ya know the drill."

Mama tensed in my arms and I could feel her body convulse with the shocks of labor. The footsteps shook the wood above us and knocked dust down on our heads. Mama whimpered a little in pain and I suddenly felt a wetness begin pool around us. Her water…

I could feel her try to breath slowly but before she could calm her nerves, her body arched in contraction and I did everything I could besides knock her out to keep her quiet. I planted a firm hand over her mouth and nose and bent over her to try to keep her sounds from traveling.

"There ain't anything 'ere that'll sell!" A strange voice echoed above us. Through the crack I could see a flash of glass and Papa's picture of Kohona's Hokage Mountain.

"Keep looking then!" Was the reply.

The one above us grunted in irritation and slammed Papa's picture onto the ground without a care. He stomped off to argue with his leader and Mama writhed in my arms again. I could feel the wetness of her sweat and tears on my arm and I knew she was in the most pain than she had ever been in her entire life. I kissed her drenched forehead and rocked her a little. She had her knees pointed up and I could see in the cracks of light that her belly was heaving with silent pushes.

"We're wastin' our time here! They ain't got nothing worth takin'." The voice echoed from another room and sent waves of anger through me. How DARE they? Who gave them the right to do this? What kind of God let this happen! Hundreds of horrible thoughts raced through my mind and the only person I could blame was myself. If I had just stayed home with Mama… If I had only just made Kinta stay with me… a horrid part of me wished I had just gone with Yoshi and left Mama here…

"Stop bitchin' and come on!"

Thunderous footsteps got quieter and quieter and I could hear Mama whimper, "Kira…"

I was ripped back into reality and I hurriedly kicked the crawlspace door open and dragged my Mama out. The light from the day seeped through the treetops and I saw it, blood, everywhere. It oozed from between her legs and soaked her old yukata. Mama's face was as pale as Death and her eyes fluttered shut every few seconds.

In a panic, I did all but rip her yukata off. I pulled Mama's knees away with shaky hands to see, what I fully expected to be a small bloody corpse, but instead found a small head and a small shoulder peaking out from all that blood. I grabbed onto the small thing and wiggled my fingers under it's miniature armpit and pulled it out. Mama's body was stubborn and tried to hold onto to the tiny human, but I used all that was left of my strength to pull it out. The force of the pull sent me falling back and me and the tiny thing landed onto the grass.

The weight of the fall and iciness of the grass made the baby wail out. Mama's body twitched at the sound and I crawled over to her with the baby. Her eyes blinked slowly and the piercing green had dulled as she zoned in on the small mush of slimy flesh in my arms

My heart pounded in my ears and I couldn't look away from her, I could move. Everything inside of me seemed to shut down and all I could see was the blood. There was just too much. I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't even acknowledge the touch of Mama's bloody hands when she reached out for me and grabbed at my arms for the baby. I didn't feel anything, I didn't see anything but Mama's green eyes peering up at me. I didn't hear the baby's piercing cry and slimy afterbirth coating my arms.

I could only feel the chill and all I could see was green and red, and, after that, **nothing**.

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A/N:

(1) ama-natto - It's a candied bean. I don't know, it sounded like something a pregnant woman would crave.

You have no idea how badly this chapter killed me. I have rewritten this bitch so many times it's not even funny, and I'm still not 100% happy with it. I apologize if the above scene insulted you in away, I know many people are really touch about the whole child-birth thing, but it had to happen, it's apart of the story. Don't worry, though, it thoroughly creeped me out as well and it makes me feel really weird knowing that I have the ability to write scenes like that.

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter and if you find any flaws, tell me. Grammar, writing, flow, description, characterization, anything. Just tell me. I'm not a mind reader.

**THANKS FOR READING!**

-DXE


	3. Waking Up

**SINCERELYDONNAB: Hey, guys, long time no see, I know. BUT, I've been having issues with my computer so cut me some slack. Not to mention the ridiculous drama with college and my future… It has just been beyond crazy and I apologize for taking so long to update. I also wanted to say thank you to all my reviewers, you have no idea how much your reviews have motivated me to keep going with this story. I can't believe only two chapters in and this story already has SEVEN reviews! For me, that's a miracle! Thank you, guys.**

**I also changed my name, if you hadn't noticed, but I needed the change. I had been using "DreamXEscape" since I was thirteen and it felt a bit worn out to me. I'm nearly 19 now so, yeah, change needed, change done.**

**Also, I wanted to apologize to my more squeamish readers for that last chapter. It was a bit gory, but I'm here to warn you that it might get worse depending on the direction I feel like going in. Be prepared for gore and creepiness. **

**Forging onward!**

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_**I remember once, when I was really little, I asked my Papa what love was. At the time I was still very young and I had always wondered what being in love was like. I always saw the looks my Papa gave my Ma and how they always smiled at each other even though nothing was ever said.**_

_**It was such a mystery to me as a child and it made me curious as to what the big secret was, why it was so important and why people always talked about it so much.**_

_**...**_

_**Papa told me that love was like standing on the edge of a cliff.**_

_**It could drag you down to your death...**_

_**Or it could make you feel like you were flying.**_

_**You just had to find it at the right time, with the right wind.**_

…

_**Back then I didn't understand what he meant, but now, after all these years, I finally get it.**_

_**\- K.M.**_

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The darkness was endless and the darkest of blacks. I could hear the voices pulsing around me, coming in piercingly loud one second and eerily soft the next. They seemed so scared, but... Why would they be scared? Were they scared of the dark too?

"Kira?" The voice was boomingly loud and it hurt my ears and sent a sharp ache deep into my skull. "Honey, wake up."

I couldn't figure out who that was. "Mama?" I mumbled into the darkness. My throat felt so raw and hard.

"Oh, sweetie..." I could feel something weighing me down. The mass started shaking and sobbing compulsively. Their weight hurt my chest and a surge of pain shot up to my head. I wanted to shove them away and pull them closer at the same time. They were so warm and the hand that clutched mine heated up my icy skin so nicely

When another sob overtook them and the pain shocked through me again I couldn't resist and I did my best to lift my hand and weakly push at them. Whoever it was jumped in surprise and gasped. Even in the darkness I could feel the room grow unbelievably tense and someone shouted, "Nurse!" The voice was so loud that it make my eardrums throb. I winced at the thundering footsteps and the flurry of voices all around me. Everyone's words kept merging together until everything sounded like chaos and vultures circling around my brain.

"Stop," I whimpered at them. The crowd hushed, amazed and waiting in case I said something again. I swallowed the hard, sharp knot in my throat.

"Excuse me, please. Can you please give me some room so I can do my job?" A voice snapped. I could hear the sharp click of a pen and the soft bustling of people moving away and leaving. Someone was crying and someone else was making soft hushing sounds. I wanted to open my eyes so bad, but they were so heavy. I wanted to see…

The room was quiet for a long moment and I twitched when I felt a hand touch my own. Two fingers pressed into the inside of my wrist. "Calm down, it's alright. I just want to take your vitals." She felt my heartbeats and pressed her fingers at my throat, checking for swelling. She lifted up an eyelid and my sight suddenly exploded with light.

I gasped and jerked away, snapping my eyes back shut against the sting of the bright light. By reflex, I turned my head away from her and brought an arm up to cover my face. The nagging exhaustion was long gone now and I was suddenly very awake and very, very, sore.

"Sorry, let me turn off the lamp. It'll help." I heard the whoosh of cloth and snap of a button being clicked just beside my bed. "Better?"

I eased my eyes open a hair and relaxed when I found that the burning light had dimmed considerably. I tried to speak, but my sandpaper throat just wheezed a bit and tightened. Instead, I nodded my head and let my arm fall back to my side.

She was much older than her voice suggested, but she smiled at me as nicely as she could. Big golden-brown eyes were warm and rimmed with wrinkles. Her thin lips were pulled into a smile and her long blondish brown hair was pulled back into a braid. "Good morning, or I should say afternoon. I'm glad you're awake. You had a lot of people worried." She leaned away from me and held her clipboard close to her white dress.

Memories flashed inside my mind and I blurted out a rough, "Is my Mama okay?" Panic suddenly gripped me tight and questions seemed to pour out of my mouth. "Where's Kinta's body? What about the baby, is it alright? Where's Mai, did she get away in time? Does my Papa know? Wh-"

She laid her hands on my shoulders and eased me back down onto the bed. "Hush now, don't get so excited." Her honey colored eyes were sad as she shot me a stern look. "Now is not the time for that." She released me and let me sit up slowly. I was clothed in a ragged yukata, much different than the hospital garb I would have expected. When I scanned the room around me I realized that I wasn't in a hospital at all, but rather a huge room.

The walls were made from rough wood and most of the other windows were snapped shut and covered. Tall, skinny lamps and candles kept the room lit and rows of other patients, majority wounded or sickly, lined the walls. There was only about three feet of space between all of the crude cots. People were coughing, moaning, and fidgeting around restlessly. Most were soldiers, while others seemed to be mere citizens. Nurses darted around from bed to bed, checking vitals and wrapping wounds.

"Miss?" The nurse beside me asked, pulling me out of my own wonderings and back into reality. My eyes caught hers and she watched me sympathetically, "I'm very sorry, but… do you think you're feeling well enough to walk on your own? It's just that…" she fidgeted with her clipboard, ashamed of herself, "well…we have many patients and a limited number of beds… This IS a time of war…"

I was a bit taken aback. She wanted me to get up and leave, just like that? My shock quickly subsided and the hard, hot anger rose up in my throat. I started to snap at her, to bark out something bitter and rude, but someone else beat me to it.

"What tha hell do you think 'yer doin'?" My eyes snapped away from the nurse and onto my favorite busty storekeeper's wife and a tall, lanky man beside of her.

"Mrs. Hinji… What are you doing here?" I croaked, watching as her hard eyes slid to me and softened. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were extra rosy. Hinji stood a little behind her, both of his hand resting on her shoulders in the most comforting way he could manage. They were an odd couple and complete opposites, but the kind of relationship they sustained was absolutely loyal, almost admirable. While Mrs. Hinji was always tough and outspoken, her counterpart was soft and quiet. Their differences were most notable in their appearances. While Mrs. Hinji may have hovered around 5'0, her husband towered her by over a foot. She always had a hand on one hip and sharp tongue ready, he was always sitting around, watching and observing with the sincerest of smiles.

There was no smile on his face that day and for the first time it seemed that they both had that same, pitiful, expression. Pity seemed to overcrowd their eyes, trimmed with worry and sadness. Mrs. Hinji had special twinge of hate reserved for that nurse and with one, harsh, "Do ya mind, er will I have to MAKE you mind?" she sent the nurse rushing away, blathering about other patients she had to attend to.

As soon as she was out of sight, Mrs. Hinji threw herself over me, enveloping me in and tight and heavy hug. "I'm so glad yer okay…" Her voice was soft and I couldn't resist laying my head on her shoulder and letting her hold me. Her worn hands rubbed my back gently and she rocked me a bit. The sheer softness of her emotions and presence made my stomach heavy with sadness and the realization that Kinta was dead. Tears slid down my cheeks and onto her shoulder. A sob pierced my lungs and before I knew it I had my arms wrapped around her, my hands clutching at the fabric of her dress. Sharp sobs made my lungs ache and my nose was running, but Mrs. Hinji didn't care, she just held onto me and shushed and rocked and rubbed my back.

I only stopped when my head pounded and my mouth was dry. It felt like there wasn't another drop in me, but I wasn't ready to let go. Even after all the tears and sobs had subsided, I clung to Mrs. Hinji and kept my face buried in her shoulder.

No amount of tears could cover up the truth.

Kinta was dead and it was MY fault…

If I hadn't let him out of my sight…

If I had told him to stay with me…

If I had made him go to Hinji's store with me…

…he would still be alive.

He would've been able to get away from those brutes. We all could have escaped, even Mai… and then we would have had time to go warn Mama. She would've been able to get out of there before the baby started coming…

That thought of Mama made me pop my head off Mrs. Hinji's shoulder.

"Where's Mama?" My voice was cracked and my throat stung as the words crawled out. Mrs. Hinji stared down at me, looking at my face with such an intensity and pity that she didn't even have to say anything.

Her eyes said more than any words could ever say.

She was dead.

My only reaction was to stare at the white sheets of my bed. I didn't even know how to feel. The numbness froze me…

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie…" I felt her stroke my hair with gentle hands, but what was the point if they weren't Mama's hands? I pulled away from her touch. I didn't want anyone to touch me unless it was Mama.

My jaw ached with the force I was using to keep them clamped shut. "What did you do with her body?"

I don't think Mr. and Mrs. Hinji were expecting that because I could see them take a long look at each other out of the corner of my eye. "Well…we buried everyone at the village, where they belong… We can go and pay 'ar respects any time ya want." I could feel a knot grow in my throat and my nose tickle as a pinprick of tears rose up again.

"How many?" I asked. She didn't answer for a long moment and I thought maybe she didn't hear me.

"Too many…" Hinji was the one to say it, but I knew that we all felt the same.

"What about Mai? Is she…" I couldn't even say the words, but I could see it in my head. I could see her ripped apart in every way and form. Strung out on the street. Blank eyes. Limp. Blood… It all just flashed inside my mind.

"She's alright, Hon… A bit shaken up, but she'll be right as rain soon." She patted my hand and started to say more, but the nurse from before interrupted.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but another group of ninja just came in and they're very injured. We really need the space." She grimaced at her own words and I actually felt sorry for her this time. She was a nurse after all, it must have been killing her to have to turn so many people out.

Mrs. Hinji wasn't as sympathetic and she snorted, rolling her eyes, "Of course. It's only natural that the _ninja_ come first." She spat the word out as if it were the ninjas' fault that our village was ripped to pieces.

The nurse seemed genuinely insulted. "Those _ninja_ are fighting on the front lines trying to protect people and save lives. They willingly sacrifice own their lives," her eyes were sharp and her tone sharp, "for people like you." The way she said made me fear for her safety. Nobody talked to Mrs. Hinji like that. NOBODY.

I never expected to see her eyes glisten with tears. "Oh really? Then why do they choose to _murder_ those they claim to protect?" She swallowed hard and raised her voice so loud that people a few feet away looked our way. "Huh?"

The nurse didn't have an answer, but there was something new in her eyes that mimicked a crude mixture of pity and anger. "Ma'am, you need to lower your voice. This is a place of _healing_," she spit out.

I could see Mrs. Hinji about to lash out again, but I grabbed her hand quickly, catching her attention. "Can we leave? Please?" My chest was tight as I pushed the blanket aside and dangled my feet over the edge. I had to stay focused on my toes so that I wouldn't start crying again. My emotions were so out of whack that I was beginning to worry about my sanity.

The yukata was thin and tickled the sides of my legs when I tried to stand. The nurse took a quick step to try to help me, but I was fine. Wobbly and sore, but fine. Mrs. Hinji swatted the nurse away and wrapped a warm arm around my waist. "Ya okay 'nough to walk?"

I nodded and laced an arm with Hinji, who smiled encouragingly at me. The nurse only seemed to stiffen as we walked by, our heads held high. She moved aside to let us walk down the narrow aisle between the beds. I could hear behind me the sounds of her changing the sheets on my bed, preparing it for another victim or ninja. I couldn't find enough capacity in my gut to care.

I just wanted to see the sky again, the sky and clouds and birds that I once loved so much. I just wanted to breathe in the wind and feel the sun.

I just wanted to be warm again.

Hinji patted my hand as we left the room and walked down the narrow hallway. It seemed like every door held another room where nurses attended to dozens of patients. It was almost as if they had tried to fit as many people in one building as they could. Why weren't these people in an actual hospital?

"Mrs. Hinji?" Her eyes snapped to me and she moved her arm around my shoulders so she could give me a comforting and encouraging squeeze. "Where are we?"

She bit her lip and looked forward as Hinji opened the last doors at the end of the hallway. She didn't even have to say anything because outside the building I could see the rough and ragged mountain that once shone the enormous faces of the Hokages. The beautiful city that my Papa had captured in his photograph was now a desolate and broken place.

Only infrastructures of buildings stood high and makeshift huts were erected all over the place, small and dirty. I could see hundreds of people on the move, working to try to rebuild what was once their home. Nothing seemed to have been spared, but they all worked to try save it again. Men, women, children… Everyone seemed to have been doing there part. I could see the children, dirty in their ragged clothes, running around, carrying boxes and hammers to fathers, brothers, and friends who pounded away at boards and piled stones high and slathered them with mortar. Women stood in the streets, washing clothes and mending. Some dug at the dirt in fields, planting crops where they could.

…They should have been devastated…

But they were so determined, so strong.

The sight brought new tears to my eyes and I couldn't bring myself to look away. If it wasn't for the small tugging of Mrs. Hinji, I would've stayed there like that for hours. She pulled me away from my watching, but I couldn't resist peeking every few seconds.

We weaved through small family camps and the slow construction sites that littered the area. Mr. and Mrs. Hinji never let me go until we were far away from the repairs and Kohonan people. They led me to small campsite where a handful of small tents sat around a large fire pit. A few familiar faces darted around the site, raising hands in a soft hello when they saw me. I could only muster a small smile in return.

I was led into a tent and I immediately froze at the sight that welcomed me. Mai had her back to me, bouncing softly. I couldn't quite see what it was, but I could tell that she was holding something. My heart skipped a beat and as she turned around to see who had entered the tent, my knees started to buckle.

Hinji caught me before I could hit the ground, but I paid him no mind. My eyes were locked onto the tiny form in Mai's arms.

The baby…

Its chubby fingers were grasping at Mai's collar. I heard her gasp a quiet, "Kira?" My eyes snapped to her blue ones and we shared a moment of shock together. Mrs. Hinji walked around me and took the baby from her, allowing Mai to crash into me and hold me in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her as hard as I could. I tried to save it all to memory, the sound of her sniffling against my shoulder and the color of her bright hair. I never wanted to forget.

When she finally pulled away, her eyes were thick with tears and she couldn't seem to get out what she wanted to say. My own eyes watered and nodded at her, understanding that she was glad to see me and trying to agree with her that I was happy she was alright as well. She smiled really big and wiped her eyes.

"Do you want to hold her?" Mrs. Hinji asked, smiling at me and Mai.

My eyes darted down the bright-eyed baby and I could feel my smile falter. I shook my head, "No… Not right now." The tiny thing stared at me with those heart-breakingly familiar eyes and I couldn't look at it anymore. I held Mai's hands and stared at the light brown fabric of the tent, wondering how something so small and innocent could scare me so much.

Maybe it was the memories that came with her, maybe it was the responsibility I would have to take… Maybe it was me…

Even though I couldn't bring myself to look at her, I knew deep in my heart that I would do anything for that baby, even if it would cost me my life. That baby was carrying a part of my Mama, a part that was also carried by Kinta.

A part that I carried too, that kept them both alive in blood and memory.

**I would not let them die again.**

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**A/N: Okay, so this was a long overdue chapter, but at least it's some progress. I kind of wanted to show Kira's mindset right now and the civilian point of view during the war. **

**I feel so bad about not writing for so long. It doesn't feel like it's been five months, but the update status doesn't lie. Time has flown by so fast. One minute I'm writing, the next I'm packing for college, then now I'm here. I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing and I've even created this little "55 Day Challenge" for myself. Studies say that it takes 55 days of repeated activity for it to become an actual habit that you don't have to think about. I'll be working on a lot of things, not just my fanfiction, but hopefully that'll mean more chapters coming your way!**

**Stay awesome, guys!**


	4. Home

**SDB****: Another new chapter for my wonderful readers! Nobody ever reads the top part of these things anyway, so I'm just going to skip to the disclaimer and tell you all that you're wonderful.**

**I don't own Naruto, but my original characters are still mine and I take pride in that.**

**I just realized that, so far, ALL of my characters are original characters….**

**Hmm… that's gotta change, just you wait.**

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_**I was told a long time ago that a home contained two things: love and loyalty. I never believed that so I used to think that a home consisted of family and the place you grew up or where you lived on a daily basis…**_

_**I never thought that I would lose my home, and I certainly didn't think that I would ever find a new one.**_

_**I used to think that my village was my home because it was where I was born and raised, because my Mama, my Papa, and my brother were there. Kohona became my home for a different reason, because that was where I grew up in a new way and because it was where my new family was…**_

_**Later, I found my home in another place, within another person… I didn't think that was possible either, but it happened.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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The baby giggled, shrill and loud, as Mai tickled its tiny toes. I watched her from across the tent as I shoveled soup into my mouth. It wasn't the greatest meal in the world, but I was starving so I didn't care. I tried to make the meal a fast one, but every minute or so the sleeve of my yukata would slide down my arm and get in the way of my eating. It was getting annoying and I was tempted to rip the sleeves off the damned thing.

Mai obviously saw me struggle and laughed when I let out an exasperated groan and shoved my sleeves high onto my shoulders for the hundredth time. "Why don't you change if it's bothering you that much?"

I let my arms fall to my sides and I whined, "I don't have anything else to wear, Mai!"

She rolled her eyes at me and stood up. "Here, hold her." She held the baby out to me, but I didn't take her. I eyed the squirming infant with caution. Mai sighed, "She doesn't bite, and she has no teeth or claws. She can't insult or yell… Just hold her for a second." My eyes darted to Mai's and I could see the encouragement in them.

I sat my soup bowl down beside me on the floor mat and took the child in my hands. At first I didn't quite know what to do with it. A little sliver of drool ran down her chin and she kept clenching and unclenching her fingers. I moved her into the crook of my arm and let her grab a fistful of my hair to play in.

Mai smiled at me and the baby before kneeling at the foot of her bed, rummaging and going through her things. She didn't have much, but she pulled out a small pile of clothes with a few oddities jumbled on top. She picked them up and sat them down in front of me, taking the baby from my arms when I handed her over.

"We didn't know if the raiders would be back or not, so we had to leave in a hurry… I got what I could." On top of the pile of clothes, that I now recognized to be mine, was the picture of Kohona that Papa took, a small sack of marbles that used to belong to Kinta, and my Mama's necklace that her own mother had passed down to her… She never took it off, so they must have removed it when they buried her body…

I didn't know what to say and a fresh crop of tears clouded up my eyes for the millionth time that day. I picked up the dainty necklace with trembling hands. It was a simple piece, a thin silver chain that held a small piece of amber that was about the size of the baby's pinky nail. If the raiders found it, they would have sold it off or traded if for liquor.

I brought it up around my neck and clasped it on, letting it hang just below my collarbone. It felt cool against my skin and I couldn't resist caressing the stone as carefully as I could. How many times had I begged Mama to let me wear it, to let me see it? How many times had I dreamed of holding it in my hands and wearing it proudly like my Mama had?

I would've preferred my Mama to hold onto than the stupid necklace. I dropped the stone back onto my skin and moved on to the next item on the pile: My brother's prized marbles. I couldn't help but smile at the small orbs in the bag. A few of the Reds were still in there and several of the ones that he had won in his little games laid cracked and dirty at the bottom of the bag. Just about every color in the spectrum were there, even a few of the little purple ones I used to play with when I was little.

Papa's picture was next. Someone had painstakingly pulled all the broken glass away and tried to keep the frame intact. There was a small tear in the top right corner that sliced down into the sky, but the Hokage Mountain was still beaming above the village.

I put the marbles and picture down and picked up one of my old shirts. There was only one set of clothes here, but it was probably all they could salvage in the wreckage. I couldn't see very well through the cracks in the floorboards at the time, but I could remember the bangs and the sounds of things being thrown around and riffled through…

I held the cloth up to my nose and inhaled the scent of my old home, the rosemary and sage that Mama would burn to keep the house smelling nice. The smell of the mint leaves and strawberries I used to carry in the tail of my shirt to bring back home for Mama's tea and Kinta's love for the small fruits…

It was all there, all those memories…

I did my best to shake off that nagging feeling and pulled off my yukata. Mai turned her attention to the baby so I could have a sliver of privacy as I slid my pants and shirt on. It felt better to have that familiar feel of the clothes I always wore rather than the old yukata that the nurses put on me. Tucking Kinta's marbles in my pocket, I raked my hands through my long dark hair. I suddenly wondered if the baby would take after Mama and have her brown hair and green eyes like Kinta did, or if her sharp eyes would mellow to hazel like mine. I vaguely wondered what she would look like at Kinta's age and then at mine… Would she take after Papa like me or would she grow into a constant reminder of Mama and my brother?

Mai noticed my gaze on the baby, "Do you want to hold her again?" My eyes snapped to hers again and I nodded, walking over to her and taking the small bundle from her arms. I cradled her tiny body in my arms and stared in awe at how just moments ago she was giggling and squealing and how now she was silent and asleep.

I suddenly noticed a small discoloration on her cheek and stroked the tiny birthmark. It was small and had a queer heart shape, but held a color that mimicked that of burnt skin. She made a small sound in her sleep and curled her fingers. I just watched her, taking in all the little things about her: the small dark tufts of hair at the top of her head, her long black eyelashes, and her small, button nose.

"We still don't have a name for her," Mai's voice was just above my shoulder and I looked up to see her watching the baby beside me. "We thought that maybe you would want to…" she trailed off, weary of whether or not that would be a touchy subject.

I smiled at her as my own little way of telling her that it was alright and looked back down at the baby, halfway tempted to give her my Mama's name. I felt deep in my gut that it would be the wrong thing to do. My loss was still raw, but I knew better than that and I knew that Mama would be disappointed in me if I did something like that, just to try to hang on to something that was gone.

"Kiyomi…" Was all I said, liking the way the name slid off my tongue.

Mai asked over my shoulder, testing the name out for herself. "Kiyomi?"

"It seemed fitting to me…" I watched as Kiyomi let out a tiny yawn and blinked her big green eyes at me. She let out a tiny whimper before starting to cry out softly. I hushed her and rocked her in my arms until she quieted down again.

I felt Mai wrap an arm around my shoulder. "I think Ren-san would like it."

I smiled at that, "You think so?" Kiyomi's eyes started to sag again and before I knew it she was out.

"Yeah, I think-," before Mai could even get out another word, the flap to our tent shot open and Yoshi charged in.

His face was twisted up in anger and he started to say something, but his eyes landed on Kiyomi in my arms. "I need to talk to you. Now," he whispered. I could tell that he was doing everything in his power to keep his voice level and quiet so he wouldn't wake the baby. There was a dark tint of anger in his tan cheeks and his black hair was coated with sweat. His mud-brown eyes looked much harder, much older, than they did before.

Mai and I locked eyes for a millisecond before I handed her the tiny bundle. She sat down on her cot and rocked Kiyomi while I followed Yoshi out of the tent. He didn't seem to be satisfied with standing near the campsite, so he led me out to the edge of the clearing, far enough to speak without being heard, but close enough to still see everyone.

I tried not to look at him and I chose to keep my eyes on the bustling people of our group, moving and working to keep our campsite running and functional. I knew why Yoshi was so mad, before he even said anything.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was so riddled with an acidic mix between hurt and frustration. When I didn't answer him, he grabbed my arm and asked again. "Why didn't you tell me, Kira?"

I did my best not to cry out at the grip he held. I kept seeing flashes of Kinta's blank eyes and I couldn't hold back the tremble in my lip and the pinprick of tears that started to soak my eyes again. I jerked my arm away from him and my voice cracked, "Because it was too late."

There was tense, quiet moment between us. I halfway expected him to hit me and I tensed up when I felt him wrap his arms around me. I rested my chin on his shoulder and let him hug me for the first time, but I never hugged him back. He and I were far from friends, but I knew that he loved Kinta just as much as I did. They were more than bestriends, more like brothers with all the time they spent together, stealing and gambling and playing marbles with the other local boys.

With that thought fresh in my mind, I pulled away from him and dug through my pockets. I withdrew the small tan bag and placed it in Yoshi's hands. He recognized the bag immediately and gave me a questioning look, but before he could ask, I told him, "They were his… I think he would've wanted you to have them more than me," I let out a small laugh, "considering how many he lost to you anyway."

He untied the pouch and let a few of the glass marbles slide into his palm. He rolled them around on his skin for a second, dusting dirt off of a few and stroking the deep cracks, before returning them to their place. When he looked back up at me, I could see the shiny trails of tears on his cheeks.

His voice was hoarse and broken, "Thank you."

I gave him a pat on the shoulder, too awkward to hug him again. "Thanks for being there for him…"

Yoshi then did something I didn't expect. He leaned over and kissed my forehead, dragging me back into a hug and mumbled against my hair, "He loved you a lot more than you think, Kira… He looked up to you."

Tears started to come down and I sniffled, patting him on the back again. "Thanks, Yoshi…" That's where things were left, neither of us daring to say another word about the matter. There was a war going on outside of Kohona and, as much as we wanted to, we didn't have the luxury of dwelling on the past.

"Hey!" Our attention was snapped toward Mrs. Hinji, who was wiping her wet hands on her apron, staring at us with an eyebrow arched high. "We need more hands. Go help yer Pa with the wood, Yoshi. Kira, ya come with me and I'll put ya to work."

Yoshi snorted and glared at the round woman. He and Mrs. Hinji had never been on good terms, mostly because Yoshi was her biggest thief in town. I couldn't even count how many times she had tossed him out by his ears, a pack of cigarettes or candy in her hand that he had tried to sneak past her. Sometimes, if he pissed her off too awful bad, she'd drag him all the way back home by his ear and give his Pa a mouthful about raising honest children and that theft was still a crime.

He stalked off in the opposite direction, raising a hand above his head as a wave goodbye. I jogged up to Mrs. Hinji and she took me by the shoulders and kissed me on the cheek. "Please," she drew it out to make it sound dramatic, "don't tell me yer involved with that hoodlum."

I laughed at the thought. "Don't worry, I'm not. I was just giving him something of Kinta's that I thought he should have…"

She patted my cheek and nodded. "Alright, Sweetie… Now," She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we started walking back to the campsite, "you can help me clean the fish the boys brought in earlier. Tha only thang these little sissies wanna do is _laundry_ and I need a tough gal to help me with tha blood 'n guts." She winked at me out of the corner of her eye and I smiled. The good thing about growing up under a retired shinobi was that my Pa made a point to teach me all there was to know about survival. I was proud to know how to track, hunt, and kill, it made me feel stronger than the other girls that grew up in the village.

I could see the women and girls all crowded together, some helping with cooking and others washing linen in the creek that ran near the camp. Most of the girls were smiling, giggling amongst each other. Others seemed to have had a permanent frown or look of desolation. We moved to the lower end of the cooking table, away from those chopping the vegetables and roasting the meats that Mrs. Hinji had already cleaned.

I wasted no time and went to work. I didn't know how these fish were around these parts and I was curious if the damage of the village also damaged the health of the wildlife. Either way, I made sure to check the eyes of the fish to see if they were misted over or if they had any abnormal wounds or discolorations. Most people forgot to do that, but that was one thing my Papa stressed the most: "Forget one step in your prep, you might as well forget the rest." When I was a kid, I thought he was just being silly, but that was also the year that Kinta got sick real bad. Papa said he probably caught something from the kids he played with, but I was secretly afraid that it was because I might have gutted a sick fish and took it home. After that, I had become a bit paranoid about sickness, especially out in the wild.

The rest was so natural to me that I didn't even need to think about it. Using a blunt knife, I took a hold of the fish's tail and scraped off the scales. I always made a mess, but it was the only way to get it done. Mrs. Hinji smiled at me and worked the same method beside me. We both did our own thing and we slowly developed a system. I would check, scale, and behead the fish while she did the gutting. I didn't really mind, I hated having to de-bone the damned things.

We went through a good two or three dozen before finally giving up to let the other women finish the rest of the cooking. I had to clean up my mess and Mrs. Hinji made me clean up hers too, leaving me to go prop her "tired feet" up.

A few minutes into my cleaning and Mai came out to talk, Kiyomi in her arms. I smiled at the both of them and watched as Mai fed her bottled milk.

"Where did you get that?" I swept the scales and pin bones off the table and into a waste bucket.

We both smiled at the small noises the baby made as she drank. "A refugee family from the Land of Hot Water brought a cow and a goat with them. We've been trading fish for milk every day or so for her and a few of the other toddlers."

"Were they raided too?" I grabbed a wet rag and soaked the table, washing of the blood that was left.

Kiyomi seemed to only eat for a moment or so before Mai had to prop her up and burp her. "No, it's because of where the war is at. A lot of the smaller countries had to come here so they wouldn't get caught in the middle of the fighting."

I shook my head at the thought of hundreds of innocent people abandoning their homes. "I hope this ends soon…"

She nodded, her happy demeanor faltering and a somber smile taking its place on her lips. "I know… I'm just glad Kohona took us in with the other refugees."

I didn't like seeing her like that, so I forced a smile on my face. "Things will get better, Mai, just you wait." The words seemed to sound so heavy to me and even Mai could tell that I was lying.

She tried to be optimistic too, "We'll survive, we have to." Kiyomi let out a small burp. "We're all we have left."

"You're wrong." Mai's eyes snapped to me, surprised at my brash tone. "We have Mrs. Hinji and Yoshi and Mr. Hinji… We still have a home to go to after this war is over… We still have each other, Mai. I still have my Papa. This war won't be what defines us and it certainly won't end us." I said if for the second time, this time actually believing the words that came out of my mouth. "Things will get better, they have too."

She had tears in her eyes when she finally admitted what I had been feeling the whole day. "I don't know if I want to go back, Kira." Her lip quivered and she held onto Kiyomi tight. "I don't think I'm strong enough to go back to all those graves and empty houses…"

I could feel a knot in my throat again and I tried to smile past the sadness. "We'll figure something out. Remember when Kinta got sick and we both had to stay up all night with him just he would go to sleep? And remember that really bad winter when your Papa taught us how to chop wood? Remember when you cut your foot and I had to carry you to school every day? And when your big sister got lost in the woods and we had to stay and take care of Kinta while everyone else went to search for her?" A few of her tears had fallen down and she nodded at all the memories. "We'll be okay." My hands gripped the blood rag hard and I couldn't stand to meet her eyes.

I wanted to be strong, for her, for everyone... I wanted keep Mai's hopes up and I wanted to take care of her and my baby sister. I felt like that duty was instilled in me and I think if I didn't have that goal and that job, that I would surely fall to pieces. In my head, I knew I had to keep moving, to keep working, and to keep my mind off the past or I would just be curled up into a ball, lost and afraid.

I just didn't know how long I would be able to hold off those demons, before the darkness would finally get to me…

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**SDB:**** Okay, so I kinda wanted to get your opinion on something. How long do you think I should wait to bring in Shino? You're probably thinking something along the lines of "NOW", but I have to wait for the war to end. I'm thinking maybe in another chapter or so? How do you guys feel about that? Think you can hang in with me a little longer?**

**Also, yes, I know that in the anime and manga the war only lasts like two days, BUT, in this story I wanted it to have a real impact on the citizens, so I'm aiming for a few months, maybe half a year. I'd say that Kira's dad has been gone for about four or five months and the war will probably end in the next chapter or the one after that.**


	5. Being Human

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Welcome back! Another chapter! Still gonna skip this top part and do most of my talking at the bottom.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, never will… *whispers* But I can still dream…

Enjoy!

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_**On many occasions I had to learn that life was unpredictable, especially when I was at my weakest. Sometimes it seems as if all my misfortune was cast down on me by unseen forces or gods… It all seemed too horrible to be true or reasonable…**_

_**I've never been a religious person, so I can't tell you if that's true or not.**_

_**However, I can tell you that there are blessing disguised as curses and vice versa. I can tell you that the things that hurt us the most, the things we regret and are scarred from, are the things that teach us the most important lessons that we need to know. It's those hardships that teach us how to live when all we want to do is die.**_

_**Then, there are blessings that make us realize our good fortune, blessings that remind us that not all is bad in the world. Those blessings let us see the lessons we learned from our hardships.**_

_**Those are the blessings that let us see the truth; about ourselves, our lives, our faults…**_

_**Those are the blessings that remind us that we're only human.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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It had been weeks since I had woken up in the hospital and I had finally grown used to the haphazard environment that was now Kohona. Every day it seemed as if the village grew bigger and stronger, every morning something new would be finished and a new project would be beginning, men nailing up the framework that would become a house or store. I was used to the sounds of hammers banging and the loud voices during the night. I was now accustomed to the round-the-clock nightly watches that took place to ensure no one snuck into our camp and stole anything or hurt anybody. It was one of those "just in case" procedures that we had all elected to do. We didn't want to think that anyone would be raped or stolen from, but with the lack of strict governmental control over all the refugees, it was a risk that we were NOT willing to take.

Mai and I had developed a good system with Kiyomi, each of us swapping out every few hours so we could take a break or help with the other chores in camp. Mrs. Hinji and I regularly cleaned and gutted fish. I had started working in the small gardens littered around the tents, ripping the weeds away from the crops and burying scraps from our meals into the dirt for fertilizer. Every morning I would help with the hunting as well, setting traps for rabbits and fishing with the older men of our group.

That was where I was when I first felt the earth shake for the first time. It started as a small rumble that we all mistook as construction in the village.

Aoto laughed about it, "Them boys are workin' too hard."

Another older man, whom I didn't really know, piped up, "That's all they know how to do anymore. I-"

The shaking started again, rattling all of us to the core. I was so shocked by the sudden vibrations that I dropped my fishing pole into the water and jumped to my feet.

"What the hell?" Aoto yelled, standing up as well.

The earth rattled again, almost knocking us all off our feet. The heavy vibrations seemed to come from miles away, hitting us and leaving every few seconds.

I started to panic, sharp flashes of Kiyomi and Mai going through my head. The only thing I cared about was whether or not they were okay. I bolted away from the river, through the rubble and stray trees that littered the area. My bare feet pounded against the rough dirt as I charged toward the camp. Multiple vibrations tripped me up, making me stumble several times to get to my destination.

Loud shrieks and bangs echoed in the distance and I could see smoke seeping into the clouds. When I finally made my way to camp, everyone was huddled around the center, all speaking in panicked tones.

"What's going on?" Someone yelled.

The voices all seemed to mush together into a jumbled:

"What WAS that?"

"We should take shelter!"

"Is everyone okay?"

I had to force myself to block out all the noise and focus on finding Mai and the baby. I slithered through the small mass, scanning the crowd for her bright red hair. When I found no trace of her I panicked and rushed to the tent we shared. Wrenching the flap open, I found Mai cradling Kiyomi's wailing form, trying her best to comfort the small baby. She tried rocking her, singing to her, and even rubbing the tiny infant's back but the earthquakes only made her scream and squeal until her face started turning a dark red.

Mai's eyes were filled with worry and helplessness. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, but we need to leave!" I ushered her out of the tent and toward our small group of villagers.

This time they circled a young ninja, who kept moving his hands as he spoke. He only looked to be about thirteen and his shaggy black hair kept falling into his squinty eyes. His headband was a little crooked and his clothes looked like they were too big for him. He was obviously a genin by his age, but I could tell that he was trying to do his best at settling everyone's fear. "Listen! I need all of you to pair together and pay attention!"

"What's happening?" Someone yelled, shrewd and loud.

We all hushed at that, all of us dying to know what the hell was going on. The ninja scratched the back of his head wearily and he spoke with as much care as he could, "The war is what's happening…" People's voices started to rise in panic. "Wait! The war is very far away, I promise! That shaking is just an effect of the fighting. I was ordered to bring all the refugees to the underground shelter until things settle down again. You'll be safe there. Now," His tone changed and he spoke again, direct and brash, "I need all of you to gather blankets and whatever items you want to take with you that you can carry! Everything else is to be left here!"

There were a few mumbled protests, but the ninja boy quickly reprimanded them. Mai and I quickly darted back into the tent and gathered what little clothes and items we had, shoving them into our small packs. Since I didn't really have anything, I crammed that raggly yukata in my bag and tucked Papa's picture between its folds. The rest of the space was filled with the necessities we needed for the baby; her milk, diaper cloths, and clothes. Mai had a bundle of blankets in one arm and Kiyomi in the other, her pack already over her shoulders. I gently took my baby sister from her arms, so that she would have less to carry.

Kiyomi continued to squeal and wail, earning stares and a few irritated gazes our way. The ninja boy's eyes darted to us, his face drooping in worry and pity. This was the worst time in the world for babies, but it couldn't be helped. The quakes seemed to be getting worse and worse with each passing moment.

"Follow me!" The genin barked. We all followed him in our pairs. Mai and I walked together at the rear of the line, Mr. and Mrs. Hinji in front of us. Kiyomi continued to scream at the top of her small lungs, never seeming to break for anything but to take another breath. Her skin was hot and I was beginning to worry that she would give herself a fever or make herself throw up with all the fussing she was making.

When we all entered the central part of town I could see dozens of other groups, all walking in their pairs toward the Hokage Mountain. Genin all led them and I could see other lower-rank ninja standing on the tops of the infrastructures littered around, watching for any threats or dangers overhead.

"Kira..." Mai whimpered beside me. "I'm scared…"

"Don't be," I gave her a smile, trying to speak over Kiyomi's wails. "This is all just precautionary…"

Just as the words slipped out of my mouth, the sky darkened. The clouds seemed to become blacker and blacker and the sun's rays dimmed. People started whispering in panicked, hushed, tones. The ninja leaders all quickened their pace, careful not to rise too much more attention to the matter, in fear of causing a mass panic. I could hear our own leader shouting words of encouragement and comfort to those that were becoming frightened.

I shot a worried glance and Mai, secretly hoping that this was just some kind of chakra thing that the ninja's were doing and not something apocalyptic. Mai grabbed my hand, unconsciously squeezing tight in her worry. I tried to grip her hand, to comfort her in whatever way I could.

We were getting closer to the mountain and I could now see a huge line of people walking along a stairway that led up the cliff-side. People of all races, all colors, and all walks of life huddled amongst each other, clinging onto one another in fear and worry. In all the ease around our camp, we had somewhat forgotten about the war, its dangers, and the threat to our own lives.

It made me realize how dangerous peace could be.

I tried to focus on the stairs instead of my worries. The wooden walkway zig-sagged up the rock face, leading to a small building held up against the mountain. Surely we wouldn't all fit in there! I recalled what the ninja had said about an "underground shelter" and I became curious about such a thing. How many people would it hold? How long would we have to stay in there? What would we do about food and water once we got in there? Would it be damp? Would Kiyomi be safe? Would she get pneumonia from being in such a cold and possibly wet place?

We finally reached the beginning of the walkway and I was weary of such a treacherous looking path. Would it even hold all of us?

Surely enough, it held and we walked up the mountainside staring out at the slowly darkening sky and the patch-work village.

Would all of this work be for nothing?

"What's going on, Kira?" Mai asked, eyeing the sun with wide eyes.

I followed her gaze and watched as the sun seemed to become overshadowed by the darkness, absorbed by it. The clouds were so thick and black that a murmur of awe twixt with terror overfell everyone. Their eyes locked onto the sky above and we all watched.

Even Kiyomi was paralyzed with some kind of intuitive knowing. She whimpered and sniffled as the clouds seemed to grow even thicker, beginning to ooze down into a grey mist. I held her closer to my chest, laying a gentle hand on the back of her head. She gripped my hair in a tight little grip and continued her tiny noises.

I met Mai's eyes again one more time before trudging onward, higher up the mountain. I wanted to tell her that we would be okay, that it was just the ninjas doing all of this far away, and that it would never reach us… I couldn't even tell myself that, let alone Mai. The fear had a tight grip on my gut and refused to let go. I didn't have enough hope and resolve to try to lie to myself.

I just wanted to get into that stupid shelter as quickly as I could. I didn't want to have to see the sky anymore. I didn't want to see what may have been coming for us…

"Stay in your pairs!" A nearby ninja yelled, ushering us ahead. We were getting closer to where I assumed the entrance of the shelter was. I was close enough to see a ninja standing by the doorway, stopping each pair to speak with them a moment and to write something down on a clipboard. It delayed the process a little, but I held what little faith I had in these people.

"How long will we be down there?" Mai's voice trembled as she asked.

The ninja's eyes darted to her and he spoke softly, almost as if he were trying to reassure her and scare her at the same time. "As long as it takes."

We were high up the mountain and so frustratingly close to the shelter. If it wasn't such a horrifying situation, I would've thought the view was beautiful… I could see the world spread out, the village dotted just below our feet.

I could see something, a tiny, pinprick of something, moving just along the horizon line. It was just close enough for me to see something odd occurring, but far enough for me to not actually know what it was. One instance it looked like a dot of smoke slithering around and another it looked a giant tree…

It had to have been huge for me to see it this far away…

The realization chilled me to the core and I grabbed Mai's hand again, trying to fight off the painful throbbing of my heart beneath my ribcage.

"Are you going to be alright?" She asked, squeezing my hand a tiny bit to get my attention. "Do you want me to hold Kiyomi?"

I shook my head at her. "No, I'm fine… I promise." I tried to smile at her, but it felt more like a grimace. "I just wish this line would move faster," I attempted to laugh a little, "my legs are killing me and this little chunky thing is going to pull my hair out by the time we get to the top."

I actually earned a smile and giggle from Mai, straying her attention from the dooms-day scenario we were in. I did my best to keep her mind off of everything and I was being selfish in my need to distract myself as well. I questioned her about every menial thing that would come to mind. I made her talk about food with me, clothes, hair-styles, flowers, books… Anything to keep the war from poisoning me any further.

By the time we reached the top of the line, I was struggling to find something else to distract ourselves with.

The ninja that stood by the door held a hand in front of us. "Names please."

"Kira Minami and my little sister Kiyomi…" who was chewing on her little fist, old teardrops gathered in the corners of her bright eyes.

"Mai Kuso…" She started to ask something, but the ninja quickly cut her off.

"Go down the stairs a little ways and follow the directions of the ninjas inside. Next!" I felt like punching him in the throat for being so rude, but there was a logical part of my brain that understood that he was only trying to do his job and get the refugees inside as quickly and as organized as possible.

The small amount of light from the outside barely lit the narrow, rock hallway. The walls were jagged and every few feet a small torch would be jammed into the stone. The "steps" were jagged ledges of rock carved and broken away to slowly cascade downward. I could hear echoes of hundreds of voices bounce around and come back to us. I could also hear several other voices talking above the others, throwing out orders and directions.

"Keep going down the stairs until you reach the end, okay?" The female ninja repeated it to every pair of refugees that came to her. I respected her for the sheer fact that she did her best to do it with a smile, even when people tried to ask her questions and hold up the lines, she would reply. "Once you go downstairs, you can ask the shinobi there and they will help you, alright?"

She smiled at us and did the same, before ushering us off down more stairs. These were straighter than the others, more carefully carved and smoothed for easy stepping. Wooden beams helped hold the stone up and the further we walked, the more moist the air became. Water dripped from the crevices above us, making puddles on the rock steps.

I worried about Kiyomi and her little lungs. She whimpered in the darkness, the trails of tears on her face shining when we passed the bright torches and lanterns hung on mismatched hooks and nails. I knew how vulnerable babies were to pneumonia and it was the last thing I wanted to happen to my little sister. She was too young to handle that kind of disease.

I held her face closer to the cloth of my shirt, vainly hoping that it would somehow help keep the moisture away. Mai trembled beside of me, her blue eyes darting around the corners of the hallway like she was waiting for something.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to her, not wanting to echo.

Her gaze snapped to me and I could see the fear thick in her face. "I don't like being down here… This was a terrible idea, Kira, we would have stayed outside."

"Why? The ninja told us to come down here for safety." I could see the flaws in their plan though, and I knew that Mai was getting paranoid by them.

"Going underground during an earthquake? That's just stupid!" Her voice carried a little, surprising her. She lowered her voice to a whisper as well, "What's keeping this place from falling apart, huh?"

I shook my head at her. "You have to have a little faith. Think about it, Mai! Ever since we came down here we haven't felt a single quake."

She seemed to be taken aback by this. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, thinking about what I had just said. For the sake of arguing she piped, "Maybe they just stopped…"

I laughed at that, not meaning to insult her, "Mai… They wouldn't be making us come down here if the earthquakes had stopped."

I could see the dark blush rise to her cheeks. "Well pardon me! I'm just some hick from a no-name village, so I don't know jack shit about _war. _My daddy's wasn't some high and mighty ninja," she sneered at me.

Anger welled up inside of my gut and I spat, "If you hadn't forgot, _Mai_, I'm from that same no-name village." She ignored that snarky statement. "You should be glad that your dad isn't in the war." I could feel the tickle of tears make my nose tingle.

She didn't even pause to sympathize before lashing back, "Well it's better than him being beaten to death by thugs!" I hadn't noticed that we had stopped moving in our bickering, holding up the line. The people behind us seemed enthralled by our venom-spitting. Mai noticed too and with a final snap of, "You're not the only who's lost someone," she continued walking.

I trudged behind her, never able to catch up with her. When I did finally catch up to her, she only sped up her walking more. In the midst of our fighting Kiyomi had started wailing again and her cries were thick in my ear. I tried to rock her, to soothe her frustration. When that failed, I started to hum to her.

Her screams softened to sniffles again and she hiccupped. I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins and I was starting to get a cramp in my jaw where I kept my mouth clamped so tight. I tried to focus on other things besides the back of my best friend's head. I tried to remember the damp, dirty smell of the underground tunnels, the splish-splash of the water dripping from above, and the chill that oozed from within the mountain.

Only when my feet hit the last stair did I let myself look at Mai again. She had actually stopped and looked back at me, waiting for me to catch up to her. The ninja at the bottom of the stairs watched us with curious eyes, eyeing Kiyomi's fearful face. The young man laid a gentle hand on her head and gave us a small box filled with water, bread, and dried meat. When he tried to give us a blanket I denied him, mumbling that we had one and to give that to someone who really needed it.

With a final nod of understanding, he pointed out a crowded corner for us to sit in, squished between an elderly couple from our village and Mrs. Hinji's round form. We slid down the wall and took our places.

Mai still wouldn't speak to me, so I didn't bother to ask her for a blanket. Instead, I dug through my own pack until I found a small patch-quilt that Mrs. Hinji and a few other women from our camp had made for Kiyomi. I swaddled her tight and made sure to keep her head covered. She seemed to ease at the familiar feel of the cotton fabrics and she finally let herself fall asleep from the exhaustion of her screaming.

I even let myself relax and ease into the warmth of Mrs. Hinji's side. She smiled down at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me tight. When I felt something touch me, I jumped in surprise was shocked to find Mai swinging half of our blanket over my legs. She pulled her half up to her chin and stared at other people that were filtering in.

There were hundreds of us, all tucked away in corners and groups. We were never more than a few feet away from someone else and people even sat, back to back, in their pairs to try to keep warm and dry.

Ninja darted here and there, attending to any elderly that were having problems, answering questions, and just trying to keep some level of peace. I watched them work like little bees, running around and working wherever they could. Even a few refugees had gotten up to help hand out food and blankets.

I pulled my own blanket up over Kiyomi's head as lightly as I could. I didn't want any moisture getting to her as she snoozed. Mai had dug into our basket and had begun to nibble on a chunk of bread. My own stomach started to growl and I wanted to kick myself for not eating earlier that morning when I had the chest. I just HAD to run off to go fish with Aoto.

"Hey, scoot over," a voice chimed, catching my attention.

I glared at Yoshi's grinning form, "No, get your own wall."

He snorted at that. "Come on, please? Taki is a blanket hog and I'm cold."

Before I could shut him down again, Mai butted in, "You can have my spot. Where's Taki?"

Yoshi quirked an eyebrow at her and pointed in the direction of the seven year old brat. Mai took her pack and her chunk of bread and jogged over, wedging herself between the boy and some stranger. She tucked herself in what little edge of blanket she could and started to make conversation with the other refugees.

"Trouble in paradise?" Yoshi slid in beside me and I scooted as close to Mrs. Hinji as I could. She gave me a look before turning away to whisper to her husband, pulling her arm away from my shoulders.

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?" I wanted to slap him for prying, and for bringing it back up.

He rolled his eyes at me, "Don't act naive, you know what I'm talking about. I've never known either one of you to WILLINGLY give up a spot next each other. So," he drug the word out, just to annoy me, "what's the problem."

"None of your business, that's what." He was making me uncomfortable and I didn't like the way his arm and hip were pressed against mine.

His tone changed. "You can tell me, Kira."

I leaned my head back against the stone wall and gave him a withered look. "We just had a little fight. She'll cool off, just give her time."

He shook his head at that. "Women and their bickering…"

I snorted at such a lame and sexist statement, but I couldn't resist smiling at his attempt at being funny and dramatic. "You wanted to know."

"I'll know better next time." We both laughed at that and when Kiyomi stirred at the sound we hushed. "What were you fighting about?"

I huffed, "War, earthquakes, ninjas… Dads."

He nodded in understanding. "It's still pretty rough on her, isn't it?"

I nodded in return. "Yeah… I think she's holding it against me that Papa might still be alive. I don't blame her for being angry… She lost everyone. At least I still have Kiyomi…"

"She didn't lose everybody. She didn't lose you," he smiled at me and I could tell that he was trying to ease my distress. "I think if she had lost you, she wouldn't have been able to keep herself together for this long." He watched her from a distance, the way she tried to plaster on smiles and react the way the other refugees wanted. "She doesn't handle tragedy like you, Kira. You just let it all out and try to pick yourself back up and grow. She tries to keep herself together, putting pieces back when they fall or trying to cover up the cracks…"

"Trust me, Yoshi, I know…" Kiyomi was shifting in her sleep, kicking out her little feet and pushing at the blanket with her fingers.

"You're lucky, you know?" He grinned at me, staring at me from the corners of his eyes. "Not many people can bounce back the way you can."

"I wouldn't want them to." I sighed again, letting the air out slowly from my nose. "It's not a talent or blessing I'm proud of… It makes me feel like a cold-hearted monster…"

"Aren't we all cold-hearted monsters, in our own way?" The question seemed to twist my gut a little. I had asked myself that question almost every night since the raid, and I always came up with the same answer.

"No, we're just human, Yoshi," I couldn't help but smile. "Just human."

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**SDB****: Hey! So, what'd you think? Good? Bad? Terrible? A-mazing?**

**If you find any errors in grammar or anything, just tell me and I'll fix it. I tried to get all of them, as always, but there's always a few strays that slip through my fingers.**

**I actually kinda hated this chapter for some reason. I don't really know why. It just killed my creative flow, I guess. Writing this chapter felt like trying to pull teeth. It had to happen, it needed to happen, I'm just not happy that it happened.**

**Oh well, it's done now.**

**Also, I know that I really overkilled the war-effects in this chapter. I just let my imagination take reign for this one, so this chapter is kinda what I felt would happen during a war between ninjas and a giant demon. I'm aware that the actual war was pretty tame as far as world-wide earthquakes and black skies go, but I felt like amping it up, giving my refugees a reminder that crazy shit is happening in the war.**

**So, yeah, I hope you liked it!**

**~Read, Review, Follow, Favorite~**


	6. Mistakes and Miracles

DISCLAIMER: No ownership… Sorry. However, I do take full credit for my original characters!

Also, ONE MORE CHAPTER UNTIL SHINO! Hopefully... So, yeah, be excited!

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_**I could tell you that I've lived my life without regrets, that I became a better person overnight…**_

_**You wouldn't believe me and it's good that you wouldn't because I would be lying. I wish it had been that easy, that after all the death and destruction I saw I became a stronger, more mature person. I wish I could've learned to be less selfish and more considerate in such a short span of time…**_

_**But, I didn't, and I'm still not that great at being a "good person".**_

_**I try, and that's the best I can do.**_

_**I regret a lot of things: Kinta's death, Mama's death, waiting too long to act, not waiting long enough to act, kisses, embarrassing moments… Not appreciating what I had while I still had it…**_

_**I don't regret Shino, but you probably already knew that.**_

_**I think the one thing I regret the most is not playing marbles with Kinta and not helping my Mama work in her garden. I regret spending too much time with Papa and not enough time with them…**_

_**Maybe I'm being selfish again, in wishing for things that can't happen or be changed…**_

_**What else am I supposed to do with my life? The only thing I'm good at is chasing shooting stars.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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I had just fallen asleep when the earthquakes had finally reached the shelter. The dust tumbled from the ceiling and everyone was in a frenzied panic. Yoshi had pulled me close to him, covering me and the baby with his arm and head. Rocks could be heard hitting the floor and ninjas were yelling for peace and calm in the midst of all the screaming.

I kept Kiyomi held close to my chest and shielded her from any danger. She squealed and screamed at the top of her little lungs. There was nothing that could be done about her tears though. My mind was too focused on the sheer question of what was going on and whether or not we were going to die.

The wet dust coated my hair and I peeked under Yoshi's arm to look at the ninja that were running around. Most were yelling out orders and running outside to see if the village was under attack. I suddenly saw a group of them making quick hand-symbols, slamming their palms against the ground. I could feel a pulse throb under the rock and giant pillars of earth rose up quick and slammed back up against the ceiling, making a support for the rattling cave. The shaking seemed to weaken just a little and the people settled when the quakes eased, but the panic was still bright in everyone's eyes. We all seemed to pause and listen, waiting for the earth to start falling in us.

Luckily, it never did and after an agonizing hour of fearfully expecting our deaths at any second, a breath of relief fell over all of us.

I couldn't hear anything over the pounding of my heart against my rib-cage, but I could feel Yoshi's chest heaving and the warmth of his breath hitting the back of my neck. "Are you okay?" I asked, wincing at the painful crack in my voice.

Yoshi just nodded his head shakily and hesitantly leaned back up to see what the damage was. No one seemed to be hurt, but the quaking had severely terrified everyone. Some were crying and clutching onto one another, while others were still covering their heads. There were also people, like us, that were watching everyone else and gauging what kind of damage had been done. Dust was still thick in the air and the tall, rock columns towered over everyone.

It seemed as though the world gave only a few more weak shudders before finally giving up for good. I held Kiyomi's bawling form close to my chest and tried to fight off the shivers of fear that racked my body. Yoshi held me close, rubbing my arm and trying to soothe my panic.

It felt as if my brain just shut off all feeling. I knew I was scared and I knew my body was rattling in shock, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel Yoshi's arm around me, but I could see that it was there. I never even felt Mai slide up to my other side and hold onto me.

"Kira? KIRA," she grabbed ahold of my jaw and forced me to look at her. Her eyes were filled with concern and resolve as she spoke as slowly as she could manage, punctuating each word with as much force as she could, "Are. You. Okay?"

I gave her a feeble nod and let her take Kiyomi from me. She held the baby in her arms, gently pulling the covers away from her face and chest to check for any wounds. Mrs. Hinji kneeled near me as well and enveloped me in a tight hug. She rubbed my back, as if it would help me feel again.

All I could remember was squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as I could, before the world turned black…

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When I woke up again, I was staring at the droop of tan cloth and the bright circle of the sun trying to peek through the thick fibers. I could feel a deep throb of pain inside my temple and a dull ache at the base of my neck. Wincing against the faint light of the sun, I turned my head away from it, groaning at the tight pull of the knot in my shoulders.

"Kira?" A mass suddenly blocked out the light above my head and I met two bright blue orbs. Mai smiled down at me and laid a cold hand against my forehead. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," I mumbled past a sandpaper throat, "Are you still mad at me?"

Her eyes softened a little and she shook her head. "It was silly… Don't worry about that, okay?" She helped me sit up on my thin bed mat.

I took a shaky gulp of water, easing at the icy feeling of the cool relieve that ran down. "Where's Kiyomi?"

I pulled my legs against my chest and Mai took a seat across from me on the padded mat. "She's with Mrs. Hinji… She figured that you would want to talk to me when you woke up anyway." She seemed bashful about that, as if she were embarrassed to have been fighting with me in the first place.

I coughed a little, trying to clear my throat and ease the sting. "What happened?"

I could see the surprise on her face and out of the corner of my eye, her body tensed. "You had a panic attack, Kira…Scared Yoshi half to death," she tried to laugh at that, but it came out a little forced and hollow. "He had to carry you back to camp so that Mrs. Hinji could make sure you were okay. We were afraid you'd slip into some kind of coma or something."

I patted her hand in a sad attempt to comfort her and smiled, "I'm a lot tougher than you think."

She rolled her eyes at that, "And modest."

We both laughed at that, until a sharp jolt of pain stabbed me in the side and I leaned over and clutched my stomach. She caught my shoulders, asking if I were okay and what she needed to do. I just waved her off until the pain eased a little. "Just sore," I managed behind bared teeth, massaging the throbbing muscle in my gut.

Mai rubbed my back and started talking, trying to distract me. "Mrs. Hinji told me you would be wore out. She said that attacks like that do that a lot. I don't know much about that kind of stuff…" I eased back into a more upright position and she moved back to her place across from me. "She's taught me a lot, though," she brightened up at that. "I've been helping her with little stuff, cuts and scrapes. I even helped pop a guy's arm back in place the other day." She beamed.

Something struck me from that sentence and I could practically feel the heat drain from my face. "The other day?"

Her smiles disappeared and she looked at me curiously. "You've been out of it for a few days… Mrs. Hinji said that it was your body's way of trying to catch up and rest. You've been working too hard lately," she smiled sadly at me. "You never gave yourself a chance to breathe… or think… You still haven't talked about IT."

I couldn't look at her and I hated the way she said "IT", like the murder of family was just some stray cat or something. "I don't WANT to talk about it. It happened and it's done." I shoved myself to my feet and used my fingers to push my hair back, away from my face. "Who are you to talk anyway?"

I didn't have to look down to know that I had made her cry, but I never expected her to rear up and shove me forward, knocking me onto my hands and knees. I flopped around to look at her and I could see her fists balled up by her sides, angry tears and a red flush on her cheeks.

"At least I've accepted the fact that THEY'RE DEAD! You run around here acting like they're still alive!" She jabbed a finger at me, "I see the way you look at Kiyomi… Like she's some kind of reincarnation, like she's your second chance… I've heard your slip-ups, the way you 'accidentally' call her by your brother's name, the way you always compare her to your mom…" Her eyes were harsh. "It's sick."

I could feel the anger well up inside of me again. I jerked forward, grabbing her ankles and wrenching her off her feet. She slammed onto the ground and I scrambled on top of her, grabbing her shoulders and hissing. "At least I'm TRYING. At least I'm actually trying to DO SOMETHING. What are you doing? Healing papercuts? Watching while everyone else tries to REBUILD WHAT WAS STOLEN FROM US? I may be sick, but at least I'm TRYING." By that point, I was screaming.

I felt the hard slap across my face, the sting of her skin smacking mine. It completely froze me and my breath got caught in my throat. I locked eyes with her again and I could see the trails of tears down her face and the quiver of her lip.

"I hate you," she whispered and those three little words stabbed me right through the chest. I backed up and tried to get as far away from her as I could. I could feel myself shaking all over and I couldn't take my eyes away from her, away from the pure look of betrayal and hate on her face.

I couldn't pull the words out. What would I say? _Sorry_?

I just shook my head, speechless, and scrambled to my feet, storming out of the tent as fast as I possibly could. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe… I just wanted OUT.

In that panicked state of mind, I was alone. I didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to go to. I felt as if the whole world had gone cold and abandoned me… I had to get away from the camp, away from everyone there…

Before I could make it outside the circle of harsh grey tents, a hand jerked me back. I spun around and I locked eyes with Mr. Hinji. He looked surprised and taken aback by how much I was shaken up. "Are you alright?" His voice was so soft and so calm that I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his waist and hug him.

I couldn't stop shaking and, with as much resolve as I could muster I mumbled, "I need to be alone for a while... I," I tried to speak, but the words seemed to catch in my throat. "Can you please take care of Kiyomi for me?"

My words surprised him and he leaned back, searching my face for something. "What?"

I couldn't stand to look him in the eyes any longer. "Please…. I just want to be alone…"

He didn't say anything for a long time and, thinking back on it now, I think he knew what I was planning and why I was planning it. I heard him open his mouth once, twice, and then a third time when he finally found the right words to say. "Go… Do what you need to do and then come back. If you're not back in a few days…" He stopped again, patting my head as if I were still a little girl. "Just come back, okay?"

I nodded and gave him the faintest of smiles, feeling the cold settling deep inside my bones. "I'll be back, don't worry…" Even though I knew it was the truth, something about it felt like a lie.

My heart felt like it weighed a million pounds as I walked away from him, away from my baby sister and the best friend whose heart I had just broken. My bare feet felt cold against the hard dirt and it seemed as if someone else had taken over my body. I moved without noticing, like clockwork… Tick, tock, left, right… My feet moved on their own, leading me away the camp and outside the perimeter of the village.

The trees slowly began to thicken the further I got away from that damned village. The desolate war-zone faded away with every pounding beat of my heart. The silence became overpowered by the sounds of life; the birds, the wind… I felt myself slipping back into familiarity as I passed the trees and bushes. I felt myself slipping back into my old self, the part of me that, before that moment, I thought had died along with Kinta.

The sun warmed the deep chills under my skin and my feet began to feel like mine again. I had been along that same road so many times... When Kinta was still a baby, I would get lonely without my Mama's attention all the time. That was when my Papa started taking me out to the woods with him, teaching me all about trees and flowers and animals… It started out as a simple distraction for me… Neither of us ever thought that it would turn into survival training. Little lessons on animals turned into major lessons on hunting and skinning animals. Learning about different plants turned into learning about with plants were poisonous and which ones would help with wounds and ailments… He never got tired of teaching me… and I never got tired of learning.

When I was about ten years old I had gotten this silly notion in my head that I was going to become a ninja… It scared my Papa, but he wanted me to have goals and dreams. He always used to say life wasn't worth living if you didn't have anything to live for…

I had begged him for weeks on end to take me to Kohona, to show me REAL ninja… We went on the small, short journey there, spending the morning walking along the same worn path that I was walking on, pointing out trees and shrubs, testing me on what I knew and what I didn't… We would spend the afternoon wandering the village streets, watching the ninja jump from roof to roof and spying on the Academy kids practicing their hand to hand combat in the school yard…

_I gasped when two little boys charged at each other, throwing punches and jumping away in such a graceful way… I locked my fingers into the chain-link fence, fascinated with what I was seeing. Some of the kids were even younger than me!_

_Papa laid a hand on my back, easing me away from the Academy's fence. "Come on, Kira, those kids don't need to be stared at…" _

_I knew it was wrong to keep watching, but I couldn't pull my eyes away. It was so amazing… The two boys jumped and flipped and jabbed their fists and feet at each other as if it they had been doing it their entire lives._

"_Papa?" I asked suddenly, finally letting my eyes slide away. "Can I go to the Academy too?"_

_He seemed taken aback by that and his hazel eyes snapped wide open. I could see his shoulders tense up and his fists tighten in his pockets. "You mean like a student?"_

_I beamed, "Yeah! Please, Papa?...Pleeease?"_

_His tight lips slipped into a frown. "Why on earth would you want that?"_

_I gasped again, hurt by the disappointment in his voice. "Why? So, I can protect people, that's why! I wanna be like you…"_

_He smiled a little and raked a hand through his short, dark hair in embarrassment. "Gee, never knew I had that kind of influence on you, Sweet Pea." His smile seemed to turn a little serious and he crouched down to meet me at eye level. "I want you to know something, Kira, because I don't want you to go your whole life trying to figure it out like I did… You don't have to be a ninja to protect people. Being a ninja means a lot more than just having a headband and beating up bad guys…"_

_I didn't understand what he meant by that and I scrunched my face up in confusion, "But… How can you be a ninja without training, without a hand-band?"_

_He smiled at me again and held my face in his hands. "You'll learn… You'll see…"_

A mass slammed into me, knocking me backwards and onto the ground. The bastard didn't even stop and he only kept yelling, "It's over, it's over!" with his hands cupped around his mouth. I didn't have the capacity to care about his problems, so I only pushed myself back up to my feet and kept walking.

I didn't realize how long I had been walking and I found myself at the fork, the left path leading to my old village and the right leading off toward the desert, but that was a week-long walk. I let my fingers graze over the crude sign that pointed me toward my home, feeling the nicks and scraps of hundreds of travelers that had walked the same path.

I could feel the familiar ruts in the road, made by simple wagons that hauled what little supplies and merchandise that was sold and bought by my village. Kinta used to hate the little ridges that ran through the road…

"_Dammit!" Kinta cried out behind me, making me whip around to make sure he was okay. He was squatted down in the middle of the road, digging his fingers around in the dirt._

"_What are you doing?" I walked back to him, standing over his shoulder to see what the hell he was doing and why._

_He looked over his shoulder at me, pouting, "I lost one of my marbles…" I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and I held a hand across my stomach, holding myself as I leaned on a tree against my giggles. "Shut up!" Kinta yelled, his cheeks turning red in embarrassment._

_I eased my laughter the best I could and spoke around snickers, "Where'd you lose it?"_

_He sighed, "I dropped it and it landed in one of these stupid tracks! Now I can't find it!"_

"_Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, it rolled off?" I braced a hand on one hip, arching a mocking eyebrow at him._

_He leered at me, "Meeehhh, look at me, I'm Kira. I'm sooooo smart." He stuck his tongue out at me. I quickly gave him a rough smack across the back of the head. "OWWIE! You made me bite my tongue…," he whimpered, his tongue stuck out in pain instead of mockery._

_I laughed at him and pointed down the road a little ways. "You look that way and I'll look this way."_

"_Whatever." He still did as I said and started scouting around, eyeing each rut for that sheen of glass._

_I looked along my own path, following each ridge and tracing back to look down another one. I was easing my way along, when I saw the glint of something in the sunlight. "Hey!" I plucked the swirly grey orb from the trail and held it up for him to see. "Is this it?"_

_He snatched it from my hand and grinned, "Nope, but I'll take it anyway!"_

I smiled at the memory, sliding my toes along the ruts. The sky had darkened behind me and I could see my own shadow walking in front of me. Further ahead, I could see the crude walls of my village, the tied tree limbs locked together. There were several segments knocked down and it looked like there was one section that was burnt and black. The sign above the entrance was still hanging on, still proudly displaying the hand carved, "Welcome to the Village of Meadows".

As if there were still a village to be proud of. There was still broken glass in the street and the black and grey ashes of homes that were set on fire, leaving nothing but scrawny black framework groaning at the slightest touch of wind. Crates had been busted and thrown around, old and rotting vegetables stuck in the dirt. I could even still see the streaks of dried blood still splattered across the ground and walls.

I couldn't bear to look at it for very long, so I kept staring ahead of me, trying to pretend that I was walking the streets of my village like I had a million times before, like nobody was dead. I let my fingers graze the sides of the walls and kicked rocks around. Only when I turned a corner and came face to face with Hinji's store did I let myself cry.

The store sign had fallen onto the ground and all of the glass had been broken from the windows. The door was ripped off and I could see inside that Mrs. Hinji's front display had been shattered and ripped apart. I could feel the knot in my throat tighten and I sniffed at the tickle of tears in my eyes. I was tempted to go in, to see what the raiders had taken…

But I had more important things to do, to see…

I kept my eyes to the road and kept walking, past the village gates and up that old dirt pathway that wound through the woods. My stomach felt like solid iron as each step took me closer and closer…

The warped front steps came into view and I could see that Mama's wild roses had gotten a little out of hand and started to crawl up the porch railing. A few of Kinta's wooden "kunai" were strewn across the yard from his playing. He had never been one to clean up his messes and normally I had to trail behind him, picking up his toys and clothes so Mama wouldn't trip over them. There would be an occasion that I would miss something, a ball or pair of shorts unseen and left behind, and we would hear a loud thump, followed by Mama yelling and cussing. Kinta would run off before she could get ahold of him and she'd hobble into the room I was in and give me a good verbal lashing for not cleaning up a mess. That was one thing she always stressed: Cleanliness is next to Godliness. I never really understood how or why, nor did I care. All I knew was that if I didn't clean up my mess, Mama would whoop my ass.

The wind had started to pick up and the sun was almost completely gone now. Only a sliver of sunlight beamed over the tree tops, giving me just enough light to get to the front porch and ease the door open. I could still see the little notches cut into the doorframe where Papa had measured mine and Kinta's heights as we grew. He nicked mine on the left and his on the right, Mama's scratchy handwriting marking the feet and inches in pencil. I kneeled down and touches every groove and marking, remembering the feeling and look of my brother's life summed up in numbers and measurements. Four feet, six inches… The last measurement that Papa had made right before he left for the war…

"_Alright…" Papa bit his lower lip as he concentrated on gently hacking a small splinter of wood away from the door, careful not to cut any of Kinta's hair in the process. "Almost got it, little man…" One more hack, "Done. See?"_

_Kinta was so excited and he spun around to see how much bigger he had gotten. His excitement died when he realized he hadn't grown much at all, maybe a centimeter. "WHAT?" He yelled at the little notch, then whined, "That's it?"_

_We all laughed at him and Papa ruffled his hair, "You'll get there, just be patient." He winked at me, "You next, Sweet Pea."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Aren't I a little too old for this?"_

_Papa held his hand over his heart, feigning hurt. "You're never too old to grow, now get over here."_

_I laughed at is silliness and let him indulge in our little tradition. I stood against the old door frame, back straight and eyes closed. I could feel Papa put a hand on top of my head to keep me still as he stabbed into the thin wood with an old kunai he kept around._

_When he finally finished, he let out a cocky, "Well, lookie there…"_

_I didn't know what he was talking about so and turned my head to see my height. Low and behold I had grown an inch and a half. I could hear Kinta growling by Papa's side. "Are you serious?" He complained._

_I glared at him and stuck my tongue out, "I win, loser."_

_Before Kinta could cuss me out Papa swatted at his head, "Be nice, you two." He grinned at me, "Looks like you're not too old for this after all, are you, Sweet Pea?"_

I wiped my tears off on my sleeve and stood up, walking away from those memories and on to the trash and wreckage thrown across the room. All of our family photos were shattered and fallen, some still hanging on for dear life on their hooks. The living room had been turned upside down, the table busted and our books ripped to pieces.

I moved on to the next room, entering into the kitchen for the first time since THAT day. The raiders hadn't taken much, but they had made a mess. Rice was everywhere and most, if not all of our dishes were broken. I stepped over all the shards, careful not to slip as I gently closed all the cabinet doors. I found a deep hatred well up in my gut when I noticed a dirty bowl left on the counter. One of those bastards even had the nerve to help themselves to a meal while they were here.

I grabbed the bowl and threw it across the room, feeling a sick relief when it blasted into a million bits against Mama's curtains. I was so caught up in that sick feeling of hate, that I almost missed the loud thump come from somewhere in the other side of the house.

I snapped to attention and crouched down low in my spot. With shaky hands I crept and crawled across the kitchen, toward the small hallway that lead to all of our rooms. I peeked over the corner as carefully as I could and when I saw no one else there, I picked up a long shard of porcelain from a broken plate, and eased to my feet. I took careful, quiet steps down the hallway, doing my best to keep my breath quiet and my movements soft. The porcelain shard was icy hold in my grip and the sharp edges hurt my fingers, but it was all I had.

When I reached the halfway mark of the hall, I stopped and listened for some sign of life. The noise from before had sounded like it had come from my Mama and Papa's room, but I wasn't entirely sure. Taking a quick peek into Kinta's room, I made sure it was empty before moving on to the next. My bedroom door was wide open as well and just as vacant. When I finally reached my parents' room, I found the door almost completely closed.

It seemed odd for that door to be closed. Why would the raiders have had the decency to close the door after they stole from us? I couldn't hear anything more coming from in there and there was a fear that one of the raiders may have come back to the house, or a new thief laid just past those walls.

My heart was loud and heavy in my ears as I slowly eased the door open with my foot. For the most part there was no one inside, and I could feel relief start to crawl into my gut as I-

In one solid movement I was shoved against, a kunai perched right above my throat. It took a moment for my brain to register what I was seeing and I let out an almost inaudible, "Papa?"

He leaned back, his hazel eyes readjusting to realize that it was me. He dropped his weapon onto the floor in shock. "Kira?"

Neither one of us knew what to do for the paralyzing shock we were both in. We just kind of stared at each other in disbelief that bordered fear. Slowly, very slowly we both began to realize the reality of the situation and Papa pulled me into a tight hug. The tears seemed to slam into me with full force as I locked my arms around his back and cried into his shinobi vest. I could feel him shaking too as we both held onto each other, crying harder than we ever had before.

His grip was tight on me, but I didn't care. I didn't care that he smelled of bitter blood and sweat. I didn't care that my face was smudged with dirt from his jacket. I didn't care about anything else in that moment and for the first time, in a long time, I didn't feel alone.

I could hear him sniffling and mumbling against my hair, "My baby girl…"

I fought against the choking sting of tears and panicked sobs long enough to lean away from him and ask, "What are you doing here?" A sob rattled my body. "You're supposed to be in the war…"

He shook his head, a trail of dirt streaked down his face from the tears he was crying. "I thought you were dead…" He held my face in his hands and just looked at me, smiling and crying. "They told us to go home and… and…" I just nodded, knowing what he wanted to say, but was too horrified to say it. He wiped his face on his sleeve, making the dirty streaks even worse. "Are they really…"

I nodded again and wiped at my own face, hating that familiar tight feel on my cheeks. "Yeah, they really are…"

He nodded too, thumbing away a tear on my jaw and giving me a shaky peck on the forehead. He coughed, trying to get rid of the knot in his throat. "Where is everyone? Are they all… gone?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No, not everyone. Kohona took us all in after it happened." I licked my dry lips and did my best to be happy, but he was staring off down the hall with a haunted look on his face. He hadn't shaved in a while and I could see a big gash on his face that was crudely sewn together. "Mr. and Mrs. Hinji are there, and Mai, and… the baby…"

His eyes snapped back to me. "The baby?"

I could feel the prickle of tears again as I nodded, "Yeah, the baby… Mama had her when it happened…"

His eyes got glassy again and he seemed to lose control again as he buried his face in his hands and slid down the wall. As cried and sobbed into his palms, I felt more helpless that I ever had in my entire life. I just slid down beside him and laid my head on his shoulder blade. His body shook and heaved under my cheek and I didn't say a word.

I just cried quietly beside him, knowing that there wasn't a sound in the world more painful to listen to than your father crying. I just let him grieve, trying to comfort him by being by his side.

I could see through Mama and Papa's bedroom window from where I was sitting. The night sky was dark and bright at the same time. The stars glistened above the treetops and I could see one streak across the darkness so fast that I barely caught sight of it…

A shooting star…

I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could.

"I wish Mama and Kinta were still alive," I croaked softly to myself.

Papa leaned back and pulled me into a tight hug, fighting past his sobs he let out a strangled, "Me too, Sweet Pea… Me too."

The funny thing about wishes…

They never come true.

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**SDB: Whew, another finicky chapter and this one was a long one… Okay so this chapter was weird for me. There was a part of me that really hated this one, and I was very tempted to throw it out. I even tried to start over and rewrite it from scratch, but this little voice in the back of my head was kinda like "Hey, wait… I think there's something here… Just keep with it." I've always been one for trusting my instincts so I kinda just went for it. Maybe I screwed myself by doing that, maybe not. **

**Who knows? **

**BUT, if you guys really do hate this chapter and think that I could probably do better, go ahead and tell me. I'll try again and see if I can do better with a second try. Also, don't be afraid to tell me if I have any typos or errors. Feel free.**

**Anyway, that aside, ONE MORE CHAPTER UNTIL I CAN START TORMENTING POOR SHINO!**

**Mwahahaha… with a little maniacal hand twirling too…**

**~Read, Review, Follow, Favorite~**


	7. Buried Treasure

**SDB: Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay, I know, I was making fantastic progress with this story. However, I got a new job which has sucked away most, if not all, of my free time. What can I say? I gotta pay them bills. I'm doing my best to work on this when I can, piece by piece until it's done. I don't make any promises about the next chapter being posted quickly either, all I know is that I'm not giving up on the story and that I'll update when I can.**

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_**I don't understand why things happen the way that they do and I've never questioned why. I just always figured that it wasn't my business, that it was either a coincidence or something far too "divine" for me to need to know.**_

_**I wish I could say that it was "love at first sight" or any of that other garbage girls go on and on about, but it wasn't. I'll be honest, I hated Shino with a passion. He was arrogant, a know-it-all, and a weirdo.**_

_**Hell, he still is.**_

_**I don't know why we met that day, or how in the millions of chances it happened that way. I'd like to think I'm special and it was all a part of my "destiny", but I can't say that I believe it. Who knows? Maybe it was fate? Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe I'm just overestimating that day…**_

_**It doesn't matter…**_

_**It still happened and it still changed me, changed my life.**_

_**I wouldn't be writing these words if it hadn't.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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When I awoke, the sun was beaming, hot and bright, in my face. I scrunched my eyes together at the spots that darted around my vision. My body and neck were stiff and I had to peel my cheek off the floor, wincing at the tingling, hot feeling of where my face had been stuck there for so long. I rubbed at my eyes, flicking away the sand from them and grimaced at the dry, disgusting taste in my mouth.

My immediate thought was "_Where am I?_" but when I found myself lying in the hallway of my old home, I was jolted awake with worry and curiosity of my father. At first I thought that maybe I had just dreamed him up, but when I heard a rattling come from the kitchen my heart fluttered with excitement.

"Papa?" I called out and the noise halted abruptly. I rounded the corner and found myself falling over something huge, white, and hairy and my face coming inches from the kitchen table if an arm hadn't grabbed me and pulled me back to my feet.

When I looked up I found a strange sight: My father with a kunai held against his throat and one of his own knives pointed between the eyes of a teenage shinobi with wide, red triangles tattooed on his face. The young ninja growled, jumping back away from my dad and yelling out a shrewd, "What's your problem, old man?"

My father was tense and rigid. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that." That didn't seem to resolve anything, or answer the kid's question.

Triangles grumbled again, "What are you doing here anyway?" His eyes flickered over to me, narrowing as they took in my appearance. "Both of you."

I didn't like the tone in his voice and I tried to step away from the arms that caught me, but they held me firm. I glared up at the tall, hooded shinobi. I stared him right in the goggles and said with as much authority as I could, "This was our home. I came here for closure. My FATHER came here because he just got out of the war." His arm fell and he took a step back from me, giving me my space. I finally turned back to the triangle boy, "Leave my dad alone and go away. Obviously this place has already been raided, there's nothing left to take."

The hooded one spoke up, with a monotone voice, "We are not here to take anything. Why? Because we were sent here for a report mission."

I watched him cautiously, "Who sent you?"

Triangles tapped his kunai against his headband. "The Leaf, a bunch of your people are there and we were sent to see what kind of damage happened." He looked around at the kitchen, "it's not bad at all, just a little work with a broom and you guys should be fine."

The sound of that word shattered me. "Fine? FINE?" I screamed, lurching toward him and grabbing his vest in my fists. "You've got some nerve, asshole! My people have been beaten and raped and killed and robbed and you have the fucking NERVE to say that we're FINE?"

Shock was plastered all over his face and he held his hands up, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm the fuck down! I didn't mean it like that!" His brown eyes were bright with surprise and unease.

"Kira." My father only had to say my name once, as a warning, and I shoved the teenage ninja away from me.

"Get out," I spat and the three seemed taken aback. Even the hooded one's head shot up at the acid in my voice and watched me with a curious tilt of the head.

"What?" Triangles seemed a little insulted. "We're just trying to help. Look, your dad is injured and we have someone who can help." He pointed to the young woman who trembled just in the doorway. Her long, dark hair was straight as an arrow and her eyes were as pale as the moon. She offered a shy smile, but the nervous twist and wring of her hands showed that she was terrified.

I narrowed my eyes at the triangle ninja, "Fine." He seemed relieved to hear that, but I added, "She stays and you two leave." I heard the girl gasp and my father seemed to shift his eyes nervously from me to others.

Triangle's face got red and he pointed a threatening finger at me. "Hell no!" I took a bold step closer and let his finger jab into my chest and that pissed him off more than ever, "You listen here, you little-" An arm shot out and pulled his hand away from me.

"Kiba," the hooded ninja warned, "we should go and survey the other establishments. Why? Because we have yet to complete our mission and we are wasting time here. Hinata will be fine." The cryptic ninja turned and left without even waiting for an answer.

'Kiba' seemed ticked off by his teammate's actions and words and he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. "Fine… Whatever." Kiba stalked out of the room, slamming the door hard when he left the house.

As soon as he left I breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the kitchen counter and raking a hand through my hair. My father set a chair upright and sat down, looking at me with displeased eyes, "Was that necessary, Kira?"

I blushed and stubbornly replied, "Yes." I swallowed hard and took in the state of the kitchen. The night before I had been angry and distraught, but that morning I just felt like fixing everything, like if I made it seem like nothing happened, then it didn't.

I busied myself while the medic helped my dad, picking up broken porcelain and glass, picking up the furniture and putting back where it was once. I shakily placed shattered picture frames back on their hooks and put all of our books and toys and clothes back where they should've gone. Some of Mama's cheap jewelry was strung out and I put it back in her, now broken, jewelry box.

My hands travelled up to the small trinket around my neck and I could feel the pinprick of tears start to rise again and I had to get away from the memories. I made my way back to the kitchen, picking up stray pieces of dishes and the rice that got that thrown everywhere. I had to force myself to count each little grain so I wouldn't think about THEM, so I wouldn't remember…

"Kira, stop," a hand grabbed me by my shoulder and I jumped in surprise. Papa stared down at me with sad eyes. "Don't bother with it…"

The tears clouded my eyes, "Why? I'm trying to-"

"Just don't…" He wrapped his hand under my arm and pulled me up gently. I just let the grains of rice slip between my fingers and tumble down to the floor.

"Why?" I asked again, "We can't just leave it like this…"

He shook his head at me, "This isn't our home anymore." His words ripped me apart and I took a shaky step back from him.

Not our home?

I didn't know how to react, what to say… All I could do was just shake my head and try to fight back the tears that were threatening to choke me. "You can't say that…" I balled my fists up tight and yelled at him, "You don't have the right to say that!" The words left my lips before I could even think about what I was saying, "If you were here this wouldn't have happened!"

The look on my dad's face was enough to shut me up, not out of fear, but out of shame. I backed out of that kitchen as if I didn't even belong there and I ran. It seemed like that was all I was good at anymore: running, running away especially. I bolted through the door and into the trees that surrounded the house. There was only one place that I dared go and I flashed past dozens of trees, down hills and over fences until I came to the one place I deemed my safe haven.

The meadow. Kinta always called it "The Field" because saying "meadow" was too girly. We always played there as kids, but as I got older it became more of an escape place for me. When Mama was being moody and angry, I would go there and just listen to world living around me, the birds, the wind… When Kinta pissed me off or Mai and I got into a fight, I would run off and hide there. Kinta stopped going when I started using it as a hideout. After that it just became my place, my little chunk of solitude. Mama and Papa didn't know it existed so when they needed to find me they always sent Kinta, because he was the only one who knew and he always kept my secret…

I never knew he'd end up taking it to his grave.

I collapsed into the grass and just let it all go. I stopped holding onto the block in my mind that kept all the reality out. I stopped reigning everything in and just let it all free. The tears seemed to come in waves, easing down and pouring out without end. It would stop just long enough for me to gulp down a lung-full of air and start sobbing again. The grass was itchy through my clothes and my feet were freezing, but all I could focus on was the tightness in my chest and the hot tears that seared down my face.

_Mai was right_… Was all I could think, and she was. I kept trying to bottle it up… I kept trying to pretend like it was okay… It was like Kinta trying to clean his room. He'd push everything under his bed or into his closet and pretend like the room had never been dirty in the first place. I kept pretending like I was okay with them dying… Like it could never touch me… Like it was a lie and they'd come walking down the road one day, Kinta would be smiling and run up to me and say, "We got you good. How's the ankle biter?" or that maybe I'd wake up any second and be staring at my bedroom ceiling and it would've all been a dream…

But it wasn't. It was real, it was ALL real.

"What are you doing here?" A voice startled me and I whipped around to stare up at the cloaked ninja from before. His hands were resting in his pockets and his goggles were staring down at me, a streak of sun reflecting off them.

I didn't have the gall to pretend like I wasn't crying, even an idiot wouldn't believe me. I opted for bitterness instead. "Crying. What do you think I was doing?" I sniffled and sat up, "What are YOU doing here?"

"I am checking the surrounding perimeter of the village. Why? Because my insects alerted me to movement and I came to investigate." His eyes never left me and it was beginning to get unnerving. Those goggles freaked me out. I couldn't tell what he was thinking or where he was looking, and it bothered me.

I didn't know what "insects" he was talking about, but in that moment I didn't really care. I just wanted him to leave me alone so I could wallow in self-pity and guilt. "Just go away," I whispered, turning away from him and wrapping my arms around my knees.

"You never answered my question," he persisted and my jaws were clamped so tight in frustration that I was honestly worried my teeth would shatter. When I didn't answer, he repeated, "What are you doing here?"

I sighed in irritation. "I told you. I'm crying and I would like to do it WITHOUT an audience." I held on so tight to my legs that my fingers were starting to ache.

He never left and continued his probing questions. "Why are you not doing so inside?"

I let out a growl and shoved myself to my feet and got in his face, "Because I'm an idiot, okay! Because I'm stupid and I always say the wrong things!" He took a step away from me and I just rubbed the wetness from my face. I could feel my cheeks burning and I fought back another sob. My chest tightened and I added softly, "I'm a runner… It's what I do… When things get complicated, I run away. Call me pathetic, call me a loser, call me a waste of time… Do whatever, I don't care." When he didn't say anything, I felt a wave of embarrassment rattle me. What was I doing? Yelling at a stranger? Acting like a psycho in front of some ninja who has better things to do? I tried to hold my head up as I told him, "There, I answered your question. Go away."

He seemed to shift uncomfortably, but he never left like I told him to. I expected him to say something, anything, but he never did. His silence made me uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like giving up my last moments in my meadow just because he was dense. Part of me was very tempted to yell at him, insult him, scare him off somehow… but I just didn't have it in me. Instead, I turned away from him and sat down in the long grass. I picked at the weeds around me, tying them into knots and weaving them together.

After a while I got sick of the tense silence and asked, "Don't you have anything better to do, ninja?"

He didn't answer for a moment, but finally settled for, "My name is Shino Aburame."

I snorted, "Fine. Don't you have anything better to do, **Shino Aburame**?"

I seemed to have ticked him off because he replied tartly, "Yes." His own attitude ruffled my feathers and I watched him as he flashed away, into the thick trees and out of my sight.

At first I was relieved to have him gone, but that relief quickly turned into more guilt and I dragged myself to my feet. It seemed like all I could do anymore was spit venom at people. The regret was heavy in my gut as I walked the woods back home, yelling out, "Shino? Shinooo? I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean anything by it!" I never got a reply and he never appeared again, so I stopped my hollering as I approached the house again, kicking small rocks at the trees and sighing every minute or two. I needed to start keeping my big mouth shut or I'd wind up with no one to talk to at all.

"Kira?" I looked up and found Hinata sitting on our crooked porch steps, but she quickly stood up and ran toward me. "You father has been looking for you… He was worried…" Her voice was so soft that it seemed to soothe the heaviness in my heart. People like her were rare, the kind of people who just oozed sweetness and compassion.

I envied people like her.

"Where is he?" I asked, glancing around the yard as if he would just appear. However, all that I saw were just old toys left behind and the memories that seemed to burn just beneath reality. Figures of Mama and Kinta and Papa moved around the yard, playing out scenes that were forever built into my brain.

"He's inside now… He's still hurt. I did my best to heal his wounds, but many of them are too severe for me to take care of." She held her hands close to her chest, as if her heart would break if she didn't hold onto it.

I tried to give her a smile, "Thanks." I laid a hand on her shoulder and started to walk past her, adding, "Tell Shino that I'm sorry… I didn't mean to be so rude to him."

She tilted her head in confusion, but never pried. "Alright." She began to walk away, toward the village.

I only got a few feet away before pausing again and calling after her, "Hinata?" She paused in her step as well and looked back at me, waiting for me to speak. "I suppose… When your team is ready to go back to Kohona, me and Papa will go with you… It's probably for the best if we leave…"

She nodded and gave me a sweet smile, "You're welcome to… Kira?" Her voice was soft, almost unsure about what she was about to say. "It probably isn't my place to say this, but," she paused and looked up at me. I gave her a nod to go on. "Your father loves you very much. I know you've been through a lot, but, if it helps, my home was destroyed too… I lost loved ones in the war," pain flashed across her face at whatever she was remembering. "There are times that I just wanted to give up, but when I felt that way I just reminded myself that I'm still alive and that there has to be a reason for it. There are still people that need my help in the world, people that still need me, still care about me." She had a small smile on her face and I found myself getting choked up.

My voice cracked, "T-thanks." A smile crawled onto my face and I found myself choking on a new crop of tears. I needed to get a grip. I needed to stop crying like a baby and get ahold of myself.

Hinata gave me a small wave, "I'll be in the village helping Kiba and Shino if you need me." She did her ninja thing and disappeared into the tree-line, just like that Shino Aburame did, leaving me to ponder her words.

I had been selfish and inconsiderate for being so bitter, forgetting how much pain the rest of the world was feeling. The realization sent a pang through my heart and seemed to snap me back into my old self. I raked my fingers through my fingers and took a deep breath. I needed to stop being such a monster. I needed to get back on track…

"Kira?" Another voice snapped my attention up. Papa was leaning on the porch railing, staring at me with sad eyes. "I heard people talking so I," he paused, looking for the right words, "I came to see if you wanted to talk."

I smiled and shook my head. "We don't need to talk, I didn't mean what I said… I was just being stupid." I couldn't look him in the eye, not after such a stupid accusation earlier. Deep inside I knew that it wasn't Papa's fault, he didn't choose to go to war, he didn't choose to leave us and fight. I guess I just wanted someone to blame…other than myself.

I jumped when I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder. Papa pulled me into a hug, mumbling against my hair, "You know that I would've given anything to have stayed behind and took care of your mother. Hell, you're probably right," I heard him try to scoff, but it came out more as a sob, "I could've done something to protect you guys."

I think I had finally run out of tears because I didn't cry a single drop. "No," I sighed, "There's nothing you could've done." He held me out from him to look at me and I continued, "There were so many of them and," I grimaced as memories flooded my brain, "and it happened so quickly. There's nothing you could've done and I don't think I'd be able to stand myself if you had died too."

He tried to smile, but it faltered and he just ended up hugging me again, mourning the loss of his wife and son, crying for the survival of his two daughters. Again, I found myself unable to do anything but be there for him. I don't think there were enough words in the world to make things right again, but it certainly felt better knowing he was alive than thinking he were dead. I felt better knowing I wasn't so alone.

I think I had another epiphany because I remember thinking very sternly to myself, _I haven't been alone… Mai… Mrs. Hinji… Yoshi… They've all been there for me... and I've been too blind to see it._ As I pondered my newfound realization, Papa pulled away from me again, trying to wipe the tears from his face. His hazel eyes were bright from crying and he pursed his lips. "Since when did you get so strong?" He tried to joke.

I smiled at him, "I'm not. I'm just out of tears." We both laughed at that and, honestly, it felt good. I could feel my shoulders lighten up, leaving me with a very conflicting twinge in the pit of my stomach. "We should probably go and catch up with those ninjas."

His smile faltered and he took a pained look back at the house. "I need to get something first." He let me go and limped to the porch steps. At first I thought he was going to walk inside, but instead he crouched down and jerked the last step from its place. There wasn't anything special underneath it, just a bunch of dirt, bugs, and a big rock that always made the step a little off balance. He dug his fingers down into the dirt and heaved the huge stone from the dirt, dragging it aside.

Out of curiosity, I leaned over his shoulder to see what he was after and found myself staring down a shallow hole. I thought it was empty, but Papa scooped the dirt away with his hands until the edges of wood started to show. He dusted the dirt off the side of the small trunk and pulled it out by its rusty handle. The chest was small, only about a foot and a half long. It didn't look like the kind of trunks that they sold at the secondhand shops, or the ones they talked about it books that held treasure. It was just an oversized wooden box that looked like it had been through just about everything from burns to nicks, to even being pried open by a knife.

Papa pulled a necklace out from under his shirt and it took it off, using the key at the end of it to open the beat-up trunk. Inside it were countless papers and scrolls, even a few rough books that looked hand-bound. Papa shuffled through everything, making sure all was accounted for, before closing it and locking it back.

I thought he would put the necklace back around his neck, but he tossed it to me. I scrambled to catch it and I held it in my palm for a moment. It wasn't anything fancy, just a simple metal key. A little bit of rust coated it here and there, but not too shabby.

"I want you to hang onto it for me, okay?" He smiled at me and handed me the chest.

When I took it, I almost dropped it because I wasn't expecting it to be so heavy. It was still dirty and I had to wrap my arms around it to hold it. "Why? What is it anyway?" I pulled the key on and tucked it under my shirt, just like Papa had.

"That thing has been in my family for, well I don't really know how long," he laughed, "Awhile, I guess, but I figured now was as good a time as ever to pass it on." He smiled, big and proud, "My own Papa gave it to me when I was your age, when I became Chuunin. It's not much and it's nothing fancy, but it's everything about our family line, at least on my side. There used to be more of us, but we've thinned out over the past century."

"We're a clan?" I asked, shocked and surprised. I had always thought clans were these huge and powerful families like the Uchiha or something.

He seemed to ponder my question. "Ah, well not anymore. We used to be a small, but the Minami clan weren't anything special. I mean we were good, but not Hyuuga good… Do you understand anything I'm saying?" He winced at his horrible explanation.

I laughed, "Yeah… So basically we were a rag-tag little clan that people probably didn't bat an eye at, right?"

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head with a smile. "You can never sugarcoat anything, can you?"

I shook my head and grinned, "Nope." Then something caught my attention about what he had said. "Wait, if we were supposed to be a clan, then how come you didn't want me to be a ninja?"

He winced again and waited a minute before finally saying, "I was going to give Kinta this when he became a ninja." I think he saw the pissed off look on my face and quickly held up his hands in defense, "Hold on! It's not because I didn't think you'd be a good ninja. It's just that Kinta would've been able to pass on the family name, keep the clan alive…"

Even if it did come off as a little sexist, he was right. When it came to clans, nothing was easy or simple. If I ever got married, I would have to give up my clan name for my husband's, even my kids wouldn't have the name. Sure, they'd have the blood, but it wouldn't matter in the long run. No matter how much I hated it, I understood my Papa's intentions.

"What is all this junk anyway?" I asked, rattling the chest a little.

Dad's eyes flashed with panic, "Be careful, Kira! It's mostly journals kept by the clan leaders, but there's some other stuff in there too."

I quirked an eye at him, "Like what?"

He laughed at me, "Paper, drawings, books… Nothing special." There was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes that unnerved me a little, but I didn't want to press the issue. If he wanted me to know, he would've told me.

That and I would figure out on my own when I was alone and could rummage through the chest myself.

He smiled at me as I stared at the dark, cherry wood and the black stains where so many people had handled it and touched it. After a moment, he asked, "Is there anything you need to get before we… leave?"

I chewed on my bottom lip and shook my head. No, I knew it would be wrong to take anything else. The memories in those things inside were too raw and harsh for me to handle. Everything I needed was back at Kohona, in the bright eyes of Mai and the tight smiles of Mrs. Hinji… That's all I needed, that's all I wanted.

Papa wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we walked away from our old home, turning our backs on that old life and walking toward a new one. We both knew that it would be hard, that we would never forget them, their smiles and their laughs… Yes, it would be very hard, but we had each other.

And Kiyomi.

Maybe it wouldn't be perfect and maybe it wouldn't be easy, but it's all we had. That, a little banged up family chest, and maybe a touch of hope that things would get better.

That's all we needed.

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**SDB: I had actually planned on making this chapter a little longer, but it just kinda wrapped itself up for me so I didn't try to force it. Not too much Shino, but just enough for introducing him into the story, and into Kira's life. I hope he was in character. He's hard to keep in line because it's so easy to forget how rigid and quiet he is. I'm always tempted to make him talk more than he probably would in the series.**

**But, anyway, what did you think?**

**I know it's been awhile since I updated but things have been a little rough. Its hard balancing college and work in a day, but add writing to that and the whole process gets blown out the window. I envy all of you who can balance time. Give me some of your organization skills, please?**

**~Read, Review, Follow, Favorite~**


	8. Misaki Minami

**SDB: Hey guys, thanks for tuning in! Thanks for all your reviews and support, you have no idea how much I love that you guys like this story. Honestly, I have to say that it's my favorite one that I've written on this site.**

**I was notified that my attempt at Shino in the last chapter was a little off, so I hope I do a little better at capturing his character in this one. He's a finicky character and it's hard to write about him because there's a fine balance you have to hit to make it just right. Having him talk too much makes him OOC, but if he doesn't talk much at all the story kind of loses its focus on him, you know? BUT, I'm trying, so stick with me and tell me anytime you think I can improve a little more.**

**Okay, back to the story!**

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_**I've grown to understand that people are very unique creatures, that they exist to be unique in a world controlled by reason and set-in-stone variables. Math and chemistry seem to dictate why things exist and work the way they do, but humanity always seems to make its own rules.**_

_**People just have a way of reminding me that some things are out of my control. They remind me that sometimes things don't have a reason…**_

_**That people are purely free. **_

_**Our bodies may be controlled by chemistry this and evolution that, but our hearts, our souls… it's all us. It's all you, it's all me.**_

_**I used to like being in control of everything. I thrived on knowing and understanding people and how they ticked. It was something that made sense to me. In my eyes it was simple: to stay strong, prepare yourself for anything and everything. I made a point to understand how things happened, so I wouldn't take them to heart. I made a point to learn why things happened, so I could distance myself from being the victim…**_

_**I made a point to understand the people, so I could feel like I was better than them because I knew more about them than they did.**_

_**God, was I wrong about all of it, everything.**_

_**-K.M.**_

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The walk back home was awkward and tense, the setting sun beaming in our faces, making us all even crankier than we already were. Kiba and his giant, white mutt never seemed to shut up and Hinata was too nice to tell him to zip his lip. Shino either didn't care, or was deaf. I would've easily voted for the second option, considering how much he kept ignoring me.

Every time I tried to get close enough to him to say my apologies, he'd move further away without saying a word or even glancing in my direction. It kept pissing me off and Kiba was starting to notice my attempts at conversation.

"What's with you?" He narrowed his dark eyes at me, still weary of me from earlier.

I rolled my own at him, "None of your business." I was a bit grumpy myself. I hated being ignored and to top that off, my biceps were burning from lugging around the stupid trunk Papa had entrusted me with. Hinata had offered to carry it, but I liked her, so I didn't want to put her through the burden. Papa was having enough trouble walking as it was.

"What's your problem? You keep acting like a-"

Before Kiba could finish, Hinata interrupted him. "Kira, are you sure you don't want me to help you carry that?" She eyed my struggling form and sweaty brow.

I smiled and shook my head at her. "No, no, I'm fine. We're almost home anyway."

I could feel a drop of sweat roll down my temple and my breathing was shallow. I wasn't used to this kind of stuff. I wasn't a ninja. I wasn't a traveler. The most I ever carried was a ten pound sack of rice from Mr. Hinji's store to the house. Well, I did used to carry Kinta around, but he still didn't compare to that heavy trunk. When Papa had first opened it, it seemed like it wouldn't weigh a feather, but I realized that the books inside were dense and thick and the wood was even heavier.

I wasn't paying attention when the trunk was slowly pulled from my grasp and tucked under the arm of a certain hooded ninja with a bad grudge. At first I thought I had somehow dropped it, but I jumped in surprise when he willingly took it from me. I pouted, a bit embarrassed. "You don't have to carry it."

He only glanced back at me for a second, the fading sun bouncing off his dark goggles, before ignoring me again.

I opened my mouth to protest louder and thought against it. I didn't need to pick fights with someone who was already mad at me, which would've been stupid. That and I didn't need to air out my dirty laundry with Kiba hovering so much as it was. I just sulked and glared at his back as he walked in front of me. He didn't have to make me feel even worse than I already did.

Kiba noticed the interaction and jumped on it, "What's with you two?" He simmered when nobody responded to him.

Luckily the gates of Kohona came into view and it seemed to shut him up. The towering wooden walls cast a shadow across us and I could see ninja bustling around the perimeter. Now that the war was over, the Leaf seemed to have put extra effort into keeping the people inside safe.

Kiba raised a hand up in hello at someone up there, who waved back. I expected someone to check us, to make sure we were who were supposed to be, but there was no one at the gates. Once we were inside, I couldn't believe my eyes. Before I left, the village was just a dirt pit filled with dirty people trying to patch up their homes, but it had changed. Once the war ended and the soldiers came back, it was bustling again. People of all shapes, sizes, and colors were running around the village, fixing and rebuilding, carrying supplies. The population did more than just double, it seemed to have increased tenfold.

I knew Kohona was a shinobi village, but I never expected so many to have been involved in the war.

"What happened to this place?" I heard Papa whisper behind me, shocked at how much destruction had taken place.

"Pein destroyed the village when he attacked…" Hinata replied sadly, gazing at the haphazard buildings and the framework that stood where entire homes and establishments were ruined.

"Who's Pain?" I asked, testing the weird name out and wiping a streak of sweat from my nose.

The three ninjas gave each other a look. Kiba piped up, "Don't worry about it… He's dead."

I wanted to know more and question what he was talking about, but someone rammed into me, swallowing me up into a suffocating hug. "I'm so glad you're okay!" Yoshi's voice was loud in my ear, sending a ringing through my eardrums. His grip was tight around me and he squeezed my arms against my sides.

I started to say something, but Yoshi kissed me before I could.

Now don't get excited, it wasn't one of those corny, overdramatic kisses they talk about in books. It wasn't sweet or soft. He gave me a small, awkward peck, one that made me recoil. Discomfort rattled me and I found that I wanted him off. I wanted him to stop touching me!

I wriggled myself out of his grasp and pushed him away, ignoring the look of hurt and surprise on his face.

"How much did I miss?" Papa asked behind me. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice and it only humiliated me further.

"Where's Mai?" I asked, so tense that I nearly jerked the trunk away from Shino, but I caught myself and gently slid it out from under his arm.

Yoshi muttered, "Camp." His cheeks were pink and his eyes were glued to the ground in frustration. I felt sorry for the grass. A glare like that could kill somebody.

I just stalked off, red faced and too embarrassed to care about his feelings. It wasn't my responsibility to. I didn't ask him to kiss me, I didn't want him to kiss me or humiliate me in front of my dad! My ticked off mindset rationalized that it was his fault, not mine.

I charged toward the camp, bumping into people left and right by accident. I muttered apologies, but in all honesty, I didn't care. I just wanted to get away from them, I just needed to breathe. I needed to see Kiyomi and I needed to see Mai… That was the only thing that I wanted to focus on. I didn't want to think about war or Shino or Papa… I just wanted to look into Kiyomi's big green eyes and hear Mai prattling on and on about something stupid.

My village's little circle of tents were bustling with people of all sorts of backgrounds. I saw strange ninjas chatting with people that I had known my entire life. Young Genin were teaching some of the older children how to throw kunai at crude targets carved into the trees. Shinobi women were gossiping with the village women, laughing over hot fires. Babies were bounced and giggled in newcomers' arms. Everyone seemed to be at ease.

"Kira?" I jerked around to see Mr. Hinji smiling at me. "You're back sooner than I thought." He towered over me, patting me on the shoulder and pulling me into a gentle hug.

"Papa's back too," I smiled up at him, knowing he'd be happy to hear the good news. They were best friends after all.

He smiled even wider and gave my shoulder a good squeeze. "Glad to hear. I was starting to get worried about that old sourpuss." He gave me a wink and went on his way, slouching off to go find Pa or to find a place to nap. It made me warm inside hearing Mr. Hinji call dad names. I don't know why, but it always made me happy to know that Papa had a good friend like that. He always told me that the best friends you could ever find were the ones that would give it to you straight, insult you first and apologize last.

He stopped and hollered back at me, "Mai's in her tent with the baby!" He grinned wide before adding, "Tread carefully."

His warning both sent a smile across my face and a twinge of guilt in my gut. She was still mad at me, she had to be or Mr. Hinji wouldn't have said something like that. The guilt turned heavy and I trudged closer to camp, dreading what might happen. Part of me wanted her to hit me, to give me what I deserve, but I knew it was selfish of me. Having her hit me would make me feel better, like we were even. I didn't deserve to feel better and I knew it.

I clutched the banged up trunk closer to my chest and slipped around the tent that Mai and I shared. I was hesitant to open the flap, but I swallowed my fear and finally entered.

Mai had her back to me, folding clothes and setting them in a neat stack beside her. Kiyomi was sleeping on a makeshift bed of quilts and rolled up blankets. She had a tiny thumb stuck in her mouth and every few seconds she let out a soft, squeaky sigh.

"Mai?" She stiffened at the sound of my voice and glanced over her shoulder.

"Oh, it's you. Are you done with your little tantrum?" It was a hit below the belt, but I deserved it.

I sat my trunk down at the foot of my bed mat and kneeled down in front of Kiyomi. I grazed a finger down her little nose and pulled the small blanket up to cover her better. "You know I didn't mean what I said…"

"Really now? Well, I meant what I said," she spat bitterly, dropping her stack of laundry down onto her bed and stalking out of the tent.

Her bitterness hurt, but it was to be expected. I sighed and let my shoulders sag with stress.

I hated drama.

I plopped down on my bed and gently pulled the trunk over to me, careful not to disturb Kiyomi's slumber. I bent toward the thing and used my old key to pop open the rusty lock. It clicked and I had to pry the metal hooks up and off so I could creak the lid back. It smelled like old paper and cigarettes. After a second, I could also smell an underlined spice and perfume nestled somewhere in the mix.

The first thing that caught my eye was a dark, faded red book that was tied shut by a leather string. I picked it up and carefully undid the knot, turning the cover over to read a messy scribble of:

.

.

_**Property of Misaki Minami**_

_**32**__**th**__** Generation Minami Clan**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

Scratchy drawings of vines traced the page and curled around the writing, almost like a doodle, but I felt like thought had been put into it. I turned another page and read the diary-like passage, grazing the hundred year old date written at the top.

.

_**My name is Misaki Minami and I am the second born heir to the Minami clan. It is not my place to create this record, but things are far from at ease and no one in the clan seems to wish to speak about the pressing issues arising…**_

_**.**_

My attention was caught and I couldn't help but keep reading.

.

_**I will not speak gently about the subjects mentioned in this record. If someone were to discover my writings I would certainly be made to regret it. Despite this, I cannot seem to help myself... I am tired of keeping hushed and I am tired of everyone amongst the clan trying to act as if everything is perfectly alright. **_

_**I am not too prideful to admit that the Minami are a small, struggling clan. We always have been and I predict that we always will be. No matter how much my father wishes for us to become great and powerful, I do not believe we will ever become the clan he expects us to be.**_

_**This is not what has me worried. **_

_**It has been announced that we will be taking in a neighboring clan for the sake of keeping our population sustainable. I have nothing against the Kimura, but I fear that there is an evilness lurking in this marriage. It makes my skin crawl and my gut tells me that something is very wrong. My father would call it "bridal nerves", but I know better. I have always trusted my instincts and they have never sent me down a wrong path.**_

_**I will admit that I dislike this arrangement, this "marriage" that will "save the clan" as my father says, and I will also admit that I strongly dislike the Kimura heir. He unnerves me in the worst of ways. I have only met him twice and both times this "Jubu" has made my stomach curl. Everyone seems to have a shocking amount of admiration for him, but I've seen his ways. I have never been swayed by such types and I've seen an eerie mischief in his eyes. He has a smooth tongue and it seems that he has cast quite a charm on everyone.**_

_**It's the charm he has on my father that unsettles me most of all…**_

_**Father seems to be obsessed with the thought that Jabu will somehow resurrect the Minami, but I know better. I know that he is after something. I may not know what, but I know enough about people to understand that those like Jabu are only ever up to nothing good.**_

_**I cannot promise that my searches will unbury anything of use, but I can promise that I will try to discover what he is really after. My father may be too blind to protect the clan, but I am not. It may not be my place and it may not be very proper of me to be taking this action, but I cannot sit by and watch as Jabu ruins the Minami…**_

_**Even if I am only saving the clan from my own worries I will at least be saving them from something.**_

.

It was signed by her and another set of vines curled around her name and crawled up the edge of the page, ducking behind the next one. The edges of the pages were dark with age and oil from the countless hands and fingers that turned them before me.

Her words made my skin crawl with an eerie knowing that something happened, something big, and it wasn't just a story… It was real, it was a part of the Minami history, MY history.

I wanted to read on, to learn more about Misaki and the Jabu guy she was dealing with, but something moved around outside of my tent, snatching my attention up from the journal and making me freeze. The person outside seemed to freeze as well and the very presence sent me on edge and into a bit of a panic. I slammed the lid shut on the trunk and jerked my bedmat up. I didn't really think about what I was doing, but the memory of Papa burying the trunk under the porch burned in my mind, so I dug my fingers into the crumbly dirt underneath and pulled at it.

I dug and scraped and pulled the dirt up, trying to dig a hole big enough to fit the clumsy ass chest in. It seemed a bit irrational, but my heart was pounding and I didn't like the loud thumps that echoed outside the tent, back and forth and back again, like they were waiting for something.

Dirt was piled up on my knees and I shoved the trunk in the hole, cramming the dirt in around it and patting in back down until it was as smooth as it was gonna get. I flipped the mat back down and clutched Misaki's journal to my chest, waiting and listening…

The thumps stopped and the only thing I could hear was the hard pounding in my chest.

"Kira?" I nearly flew out of my pants in surprise and jerked around to see Mai standing at the tent flap, watching me with a curious expression. "Your dad is looking for you, he wants to see Kiyomi."

I nodded shakily, "Okay…" I glanced at the book in my hands to the baby that slept just a few feet away. Tucking the journal into my shirt, I reached over and picked up Kiyomi's sleepy form. She made a small, squeaky sigh and her little eyes fluttered open for just a millisecond before closing again. Her tiny fists clutched my hair and she laid her head against my hammering heart.

Something felt very, very wrong and I hated not knowing why… I hated feeling so helpless and vulnerable, so out of control of the things going on around me…

If I had only known what was going to happen, what was going to be ripped from me again… Maybe none of this would've happened.

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**SDB: Oooh! Drama! Couldn't help myself, I felt the need to insert a good cliffhanger since I've been making decent progress. So, you think I did a little better with Shino this time? More himself now? Please tell me if he's OOC again, because that's something I need to fit if it's a problem. I know there wasn't a ton of interaction between the two, but trust me when I say that there will be much more later on after certain events take place in the next few chapters.**

**But yeah, a bit of a short chapter but it was necessary. I had to find a good stopping place because the next chapter is going to be the start of a WHOLE new barrel of monkeys.**

**So, tell me what you think! **

**~Read, Review, Follow, Favorite~**


	9. Watched

**SDB: Hellloooo! New chapter ready for reading! I wanted to say thanks to all my dedicated readers and the people who have supported this story. I love you guys!**

**Also, I was thinking about changing the name of the story, but I wasn't sure what to change it to. Don't get me wrong, it's okay how it is, but I wanted to change it to something more interesting, you know? I've been having trouble coming up with any good ones, I've only come up with three really nice ideas, but if you want you can have some input. You guys are the readers of the story, after all.**

**So, how about a VOTE?**

**A) Keep the original**

**B) "Love Is…"**

**C) "The Cost of Life"**

**D) "What Is Precious to You"**

**E) Submit your own idea!**

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**When I was growing up, I was never quite like the other girls my age. When they were little, they played with their dolls and dug through their Mama's clothes. I played in the mud with my baby brother and snooped through my Papa's ninja gear that he tried to hide under the bed. When we hit that age, they were chasing boys while I was chasing daydreams.**_

_**Most of the time I was proud of being different, but as I got older I started to hate it. I envied at how simple they were, how they seemed to be unfazed by the tragedies around them.**_

_**They seemed so strong and unmoved.**_

_**I wanted to be that sturdy, that grounded…**_

_**I know now that it takes much more than ignorant bliss and ego to be strong. It takes will, heart, persistence…**_

_**Hope.**_

_**-K.M.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**.**_

I watched from the sides as Papa clutched Kiyomi to his chest and held her with a gentleness that only a father could have. There were tears in his bright hazel eyes as he gazed down at her, his shaggy brown hair hanging from his forehead, tickling the top of hers.

I could feel Mai standing behind me, watching the interaction between them just like I was. I wanted to turn around and hug her, to apologize and just hold onto my best friend again, but I knew she wouldn't let me. She was still raw from our fight, I was too, but I was also too tired to hold any silly grudge against her.

"I'm sorry about them, you know…" I heard her whisper so quietly that I almost didn't hear it.

I glanced over my shoulder at her, "Me too…" I tried to muster a small smile, "There's nothing that can be done… I'm sorry about your sisters, and your Pa."

She shrugged and shook her head, "It doesn't matter… After Mom died, he wasn't really the same anyway." She was really quiet for a second before putting a hand on my shoulder and pulling me around to face her. She leaned in close and whispered. "I haven't told anyone, but… I never found my sisters' bodies." Mai had two older sisters, a set of twins that the village had deemed a "precious miracle". Aiko and Nina were two sides of the same coin, so to speak. They went everywhere together, they were best friends, but they were both absolutely different. Nina was always the sweet and happy one, while Aiko was always the wild side of the coin, crass and unpredictable. It wasn't hard to tell them apart because Nina would be the first to say "Hi" while Aiko would be the first to say "Fuck off".

"What do you mean?" I whispered back, watching her face carefully. I could see the bags under eyes and the stress that lined her lips. She seemed paler than usual. "They aren't dead?"

Her blue eyes seemed to darken and she shook her head, "I don't think so." She pulled back a little, her eyes flickering from me to the people that surrounded my Papa and the baby. Everyone seemed enthralled by the reunion and all crowded around to bask in the momentary happiness of a miracle.

"Why haven't you told anyone? Maybe the Hokage-"

"The Hokage won't do shit and you know it." I was a bit taken aback by her cussing. She had never been one to use foul language, but I could empathize with her. Her whole demeanor seemed haggard and worn, like something was breaking inside of her. It probably was. She rubbed at her eyes before speaking again, "At first I thought that maybe they got away, you know? But they never came back…"

"You think the raiders might've taken them?" I think I asked the question she was trying not to ask herself because pain shot across her face and she winced.

"I hope not…" We both got very quiet, the sounds of Kiyomi's yawns and Papa's sobs of joy seemed to mute off behind us. Mai just watched me watching her. There was a panic deep in her eyes and I could see her breathing much quicker.

"I still think we should tell the Hokage, she could help," I tried to persuade her, but Mai just shook her head. I hated at how stubborn she was being, but I couldn't yell at her in front of all of these people, not without catching unwanted attention. I could just imagine what Mrs. Hinji would say if she knew what Mai was telling me…

"No, they're too busy trying to rebuild the village. Rumor has it that she's retiring anyway, so what's the point?" Her voice was sharp and cut at me, but I held firm.

"The point? The point is that your sisters could be alive and we're the only ones standing in their way of being rescued. Don't you want them to be safe here with you? Or would you rather them being with THEM, being raped or-"

She spat back a loud, "Okay", earning a few looks from the people around Papa. She lowered her voice again, "Don't say stuff like that…"

I lowered my voice another notch, "It's the truth, Mai. People like that don't care if it's wrong or disgusting, they're horrible people!" I paused for a second and asked, quietly and gently, "And what if there's others?"

I could see my words sink in hard as she stared through me, her eyes flickering in thought. Her eyes seemed to lose their harshness just a bit and I could see her walls come down a little. "What do you think the Hokage will do?"

I shrugged and I rubbed at my arms, "Send out a team of ninjas to investigate, I guess. They'd probably go back to the village and try to track them, or at least that's what I would do if I were trying to find a bunch of lowlife thugs." I snarled out the last part, just hoping that they'd get ripped apart somehow, by someone even more evil that they were, or, better yet, someone good who wanted to get rid of blemishes like them.

"Do you think that would work?" She asked quietly, her eyes still flashing from this and that, pondering and rolling thoughts around in her mind. "Do you think they could save them?"

"I think they would do their best and I think that's better than just standing around talking about it." She bit her lip and finally looked me in the eye. She gave a small nod and played with her fingers. "We can go in the morning, or now if you want."

"No, we'll do it in the morning. I don't want anyone to get suspicious…" She glanced at my Papa and the baby, then at all the people that surrounded them. She looked at Mr. and Mrs. Hinji and she locked eyes with Yoshi, who was watching us. "You don't have to go with me."

"I know, I want to." A small smile curled up her lips and we eased our way back to the group. I glanced at Yoshi, but the second our eyes clicked he looked away. His cheeks turned a light red and in turn so did mine. Why'd he have to go and something stupid like that? I wondered what in the world possessed him to kiss me. He never liked me before, so why now? What did I do?

Papa kissed the baby's head and finally got a hold of himself. The tears he'd cried where shiny on his cheeks and the slowly disappearing sun seemed to make them glitter. He was so happy that for a moment, I forgot about all that death and all the misery that seemed to hover around us. I fell into the lull of the crowd, our little rag-tag bunch of survivors. Old man Aoto was perched on his cane, smirking and making jokes with the other men. Probably making fun of Papa and all his bawling, but it was all in good fun. Mr. Hinji had an arm wrapped around Mrs. Hinji's shoulder, the both of them smiling and watching. Yoshi was leaning against a tent pole, glancing from me to Mai and back to the ground. Mai was looking at me, a serious glint in her eyes that reminded me that we once again had a secret that the rest of the world didn't know about.

I picked at the dirt under my fingernails and briefly thought about the trunk and the book that was tucked under my shirt, held in place by the band of my pants. It felt warm against my stomach, and the old leather was rough against my skin, the edges scratching me. I was so tempted to pull it out and keep reading Misaki's story, but I felt like I was being watched. I could feel eyes on my back and I couldn't resist peaking behind my shoulder at the tree line behind me. There was no way for me to know for sure, but I could feel the unease of eyes staring into me.

It made my stomach curl.

I tried to ignore it and eased in closer to the crowd, as if being closer to them would keep me safe. Mai looked at me curiously and I flickered my eyes toward the woods, trying to tell her without telling her. She took a quick glance at the shadows of the trees and back to me. It was getting darker and darker by the second and a chill of the night was starting to ease in. The only thing left of the sun was a miniscule sliver that peaked over the mountains. Soon, it would be gone too.

The crowd seemed to lose interest in my Papa, chattering amongst themselves and slowly trickling away to find something else to amuse themselves with. The only ones who stayed were me, Mai, Yoshi, and Mr. and Mrs. Hinji. We were our own family, in a way. We were all tied together in some special way that made us a family, even if weren't from the same blood. We shared something, something without a name, or at least not a name that I knew.

Maybe it was just love.

Who knows?

What I do know is that later that night, long after we had all went our separate ways, Mai and I still felt the eyes watching us while we walked to our tent. We didn't speak, but the way she kept glancing at me with a fear deep in her eyes was enough to say it all: There was something out there, watching us. For what reason, I didn't know, but the chills in my spine told me it was something bad. It felt like there was a rock in my gut, weighing me down and making me sink.

Mai held onto my hand as tightly as she could. I could feel her palm sweating, making my own hand slick and warm. I wanted to pull my hand away and wipe it off, but I was too distracted with the shadows that danced behind the trees. I tried my best to listen as hard as I could, to try to hear movement or voices, but the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart and Mai's heavy breathing. Voices of the villagers bounced back and forth from tent to tent and the fire in the middle of our camp was bright and alive, flickering and snapping at the night air.

I held the flap of our tent open for Mai, gazing out at the forest, scanning the trees for any sign of abnormalities. She ducked inside and I hesitantly pulled my eyes away from the woods, dipping into the tent behind her. She flopped down onto her bed mat and pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Why are they out there?" She whispered as softly as she could.

I eased down beside of her and laid down, crossing a leg over my knee and wrapping my arms around the back of my head. "I'm not sure," I whispered back, "I'm not even sure if there's anyone out there or if it's just me being crazy…"

"No," she stared down at me, "There's definitely something… I can feel it…" Her eyes shot up and she watched the entrance of the tent, as if she were expecting someone to walk inside any second. "I felt it before you even told me."

I sat up, dropping my hands into my lap. "Do you think we should tell my Pa?"

She chewed her lip, rolling my question around before finally saying, quietly, "I don't want to go back out there. What if they're-" she cut herself off, "You know…"

I couldn't understand why she didn't just say it. Rapists. Murderers. Kidnapers. They existed and no matter how much she tried to pretend they didn't, they would always be in the world. "I don't know… Papa's tent on the other side of camp, but I doubt they'd make a go for us with the others so close by. I mean I could spit and hit Aoto's tent."

That seemed to make her laugh and she tried her best to keep her giggles quiet. "True," she snorted, "Very true…" Her smile faded fast and her eyes were quickly taken over by fear and confusion, "I wonder why they're out there." I had been wondering that myself, and found that the book under my shirt felt much heavier than before.

"Mai…" I pulled it out from under my clothes. "I have a secret too," I mouthed, holding the book toward her.

She took it delicately in her hands and untied the leather string, letting in fall open in her hands. She read a little of the passage and pointed to me, mouthing, "Minami. Your clan?"

I nodded hurriedly and pointed over to my bed mat. "A whole trunk," I leaned in and whispered so quiet I could barely hear it, "full of books and stuff." She gave me a confused look and I, glancing around the tent for shadows, eased over and pulled my bed mat up, showing her the loose dirt where I had buried the chest.

"Who gave it to you?" She kept flipping through the pages, but she never read any more. She just kept looking and flipping, pausing at pictures and plants that were pressed within the pages of Misaki's journal.

That feeling creeped up on me again and I said hastily, "It doesn't matter, we need to go. I don't like being trapped in here if something happens."

She nodded and handed me back my book. I tucked it back in my shirt and we ducked back out of the tent. Most of the other tents were dark, the people inside probably trying to fall asleep. A few voices could still be heard here and there, traces that the celebrating hadn't completely stopped and a few wild souls dared to drink and laugh under the brightness of the moon that hung under the sky.

I watched the edge of the sparse woods from the corner of my eye. The newly planted trees were thin and frail compared to the massive, jutting rocks that towered over them. They were just big enough for someone to hide behind if they were still. The moon seemed to cast shadows over everything, making it hard for me to see anything out of place.

I stayed close to Mai, keeping her walking just barely in front of me so I could push or pull her away if anything were to happen to her. I heard a sharp crunch come from deep within the darkness and my heart dropped down into my gut. I ushered Mai faster, my eyes never leaving the woods or the pitch-black that seemed to absorb them more and more each second. My heart was pounding so hard against my ribs that it hurt and I could feel myself stepping all over the back of Mai's feet. She didn't protest, only quickening her pace every time my toes scrapped against her heels.

I grabbed her hand and ran with her, both of us bolting through the camp as fast as we could. Stray villagers watched us with curiosity, but their attention never held. Two teenage girls running around was nothing to be concerned with.

As soon as Papa's tent came into view, we charged toward it even faster, not even slowing to warn him that we were coming in. I just slid past the flap, jerking Mai in behind me.

"Papa, I-" the tent was empty of any living thing. My father's belongings were ripped apart and thrown everywhere. I could see where someone had gotten into a fight and thrown up dirt and made small rips in the fabric of the tent.

Muffled wails came from a small corner of the tent and I slid toward it, jerking clothes and blankets away until I found my baby sister sprawled under her upturned basket, a filthy rag wrapped around her mouth to muffle her shrill screams. I unknotted the thing and did my best to examine her, looking for any blood or bruises. She was crying so hard that she was choking on her screams and her small face was turning a sickly red.

"Kira-" Mai started behind me but I just silenced her with a wave of my hand.

"Help me," I whispered in panic, not knowing what to do with the wailing infant.

Mai took her from my arms and held her gently to her chest, rocking her and humming to her in the softest voice she could manage. Kiyomi still squealed and screamed, making my blood boil even hotter in my veins.

I slung my way through my father's scarce belongings, searching like a madwoman for anything that could cut, stab, or kill. I had a horrible feeling crawling just under my skin when all I could find was an old, broken kunai that he had thrown to the side with his bloodied bandages from the war. The handle was cracked and the blade was chipped, but it would have to do.

"Watch her, I'm going to go find him," was all I could manage to say.

Mai seemed baffled and flustered in her torn focus between me and the baby. "You can't just go by yourself. Let me go wi-" I silenced her again.

"No! You have to stay here and watch Kiyomi… I'll be back, I promise." I held the blade tight in my hand and tried to swallow the sick fear and panic that was boiling around inside my throat, mixing with the volcanic hatred that was searing through my chest.

Her eyes lost their resolve and she was quiet for a second. "Please, Kira… I can't lose you too…"

The fear inside of me wanted to give in, to stay with her and let whatever happen to Papa happen. It was the same sick feeling that I had when the raiders attacked, when I wanted to abandon my Mama and run to safety. It was a shameful thing and I would have nothing to do with it.

"You have to trust me, Mai. I'll come back. I promise." I meant it that time and with ever last ounce of bravery I had, I fled the tent.

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**SDB: Sorry about the long wait for this chapter and sorry it was so short. Life has been really hectic to say the least. This chapter is short mostly because of the events that are going to take place in the next chapter. **

**I hope you liked it!**

**Remember, if you see anything that needs to be fixed, tell me. Or if you have any critics, you can tell me that too, I don't mind. Be brutal! Be honest!**

**Love you guys!**

**~Read, Review, Follow, Favorite~**


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